Palin Place (or: Bristol and her boo Levi)

To get in the spirit of McCain-Palin, I made a custom tee shirt help us discuss those awkward, pesky social issues:



Please, for the children, head over to Zazzle and order yourself a couple. All my profits will be donated to (Un)Planned Parenthood.

Obama RSVPs

You may recall that I invited Barack to my graduation party. His response?

Dear John,

Thank you for contacting Obama for America and for inviting Senator Barack Obama to your event. Over the course of the campaign, Barack has met with or spoken to hundreds of thousands of Americans at kitchen tables, large rallies, small town hall meetings, and other events in every part of the country. He appreciates the outpouring of support he has received at every stop.

The unprecedented level of campaign activity since early last year speaks to the strong desire of the American people to reclaim their government. We consider every invitation, and Senator Obama values your interest in his candidacy. Due to time constraints, he must decline a large majority of invitations. After careful review, we have determined that Senator Obama will not be able to participate in your event.

We hope that you stay involved and engaged with the campaign, because we need your help. As Barack has said, “if we are willing to work for it, and fight for it, and believe in it, then I am absolutely certain that generations from now, we will be able to look back and tell our children that this was the moment when… we came together to remake this great nation so that it may always reflect our very best selves, and our highest ideals.”

Thank you again for your interest and your understanding, and please accept our best wishes for a successful event.

Sincerely,

Team Scheduling
Obama for America
www.barackobama.com

=(

Guest List

I invited Barry Hussain Obamawitz to my graduation party:

Senator Obama is invited to join our friends and family to celebrate my college graduation, an event 12 years in the making. Senator Obama might enjoy a different perspective of urban America: a man who moved to the DC region at the age of 20 to work full time and go to school part time. Sometimes, the American dream means contracting in the Office of Administration during the Clinton Administration, and several other high tech jobs to afford a home at the top of the housing market, only to watch it lose 30% of its value in two years. Despite that, one can work full time, go to school part time, and live the American dream just outside the beltway in Tim Caine's Virginia.

Republicans (especially those indicted for accepting bribes or whom violated US civil service laws) will not be admitted.

Check out the awesome autoreply I got back:

Dear John:

Thank you so much for your invitation. Your scheduling request is now in our system and you will be contacted as soon as we know more about Barack's availability.

Please keep in mind that the scheduling team may not be able to determine his availability until 1-2 months before the date of your event. We understand the difficulties this may cause and certainly appreciate your patience.

If you need to follow-up on your invitation before you hear back from us, please call 312/819-2419. Please do not submit follow-up inquiries through the online form or via email.

Thanks again for including Barack in your plans. We'll be in touch!

Team Scheduling
Obama for America
http://www.barackobama.com

Just like you fools, if he comes, his ass needs to fill out my Google Docs RSVP form.