The Semi-Sweet Coming of Christ

Last Spring, we were excited to learn about The Chocolate Jesus, and to hear the argument between it's creator and the head of the Catholic League on Opie and Anthony.

Once again, Virginia is on the ball with this update:

NEW YORK - "My Sweet Lord," an anatomically correct milk chocolate sculpture of Jesus Christ that infuriated Catholics before its April unveiling was canceled, returns Oct. 27 to a Chelsea art gallery, its creator said Tuesday.

[...]

The exhibit, at the Proposition Gallery in Manhattan, will be accompanied by a set of chocolate Catholic icons created by Cavallaro, a group that includes the Virgin Mary and saints Francis, Augustine, Michael, Jude, Anthony and Fermin.

"After the cancellation of the show, it got me to look into the Catholic religion a little deeper," Cavallero said. "I started thinking about the saints, how they were ostracized for their beliefs and then canonized."

Cavallaro's work features Christ with outstretched arms, as though hanging from an invisible cross. Unlike traditional religious depictions of Christ, Cavallaro's Jesus lacks a loincloth.

The sculpture is actually a new version of "My Sweet Lord," created with 200 pounds of chocolate over three days. The original was stored in a Brooklyn facility where mice nibbled away at its hands, ears, nose and feet, forcing Cavallaro to toss the original and recast the sculpture.

Oh my sweet, milk chocolate Jesus!

I'm saddened that the original was nibbled at by mice, but thrilled about his new, delicious entourage of sweet saints. If Walmart is carrying Jesus Action Figures, maybe Hersheys could work on an edible nativity scene to replace the nasty, chocolate Advent Calendar we're all sick of eating?

The idea of biting the Baby Jesus's head off on Christmas Morning...

!!!

xoxo

My Vote for "Line of the Day"

Colin Quinn: Let's do like a Opie and Anthony movie.
Opie: Yeah! That's what we wanna do
Anthony: A buddy movie where we...what?
Colin: A buddy movie where you have to find a...let's say [Jim] Norton has AIDS and you have to find the antidote by the end of the movie.
Anthony: The antidote for AIDS?
Bob Kelly: Is this a documentary?

Reminder, today is:

-Whip 'Em Out Wednesday
-Butt rub Wednesday
-Cat noise Wednesday
-Water shake Wednesday

so plan accordingly.

The Taping of Lil' Jimmy Norton's HBO Comedy Special

Joey, Katie, and I were able to get tickets for the taping of Jim Norton's new HBO comedy special. Apparently the well-wishing worked because his set was fucking hysterical. The theater was hot as balls, but you'll still be able to hear me screaming from the audience.

After the show, People Against Censorship has a rolling billboard right outside:



haha! Lil' Jimmy has AIDS. RAMONE! Fetch him some broth and a robe.

The Boy Almost Blow Up Their Careers...again

From The New York Times:

XM Shock Jocks Apologize for Sex Comment
Filed at 12:00 p.m. ET

WASHINGTON (AP) -- XM Satellite Radio shock jocks Opie and Anthony apologized Friday for airing a homeless man's crude comments that he'd like to have sex with Condoleezza Rice, Laura Bush and Queen Elizabeth.



The remarks were made on their show Wednesday by a guest the duo call Homeless Charlie. As the name of each woman came up, the guest said he would like to have sex with her -- using language not fit for print.

Opie and Anthony laughed as they imagined Rice's ''horror'' while describing a violent sexual encounter in which Rice is punched in the face.

Washington-based XM condemned the remarks.

''We deplore the comments made on Wednesday's 'Opie & Anthony Show,''' XM spokesman Nathaniel Brown told The Associated Press on Friday. He would not say whether XM planned to take disciplinary action.

Opie and Anthony, whose full names are Anthony Cumia and Greg ''Opie'' Hughes, apologized to listeners on Friday's show.

''We apologize to the public officials for comments that we made on our XM show on May 9th. We take very seriously the responsibility that comes with our creative freedom and regret any offense that this segment has caused,'' they said.

Because the show airs on satellite radio, there are no federal restrictions on its content. According to XM's Web site, the radio service has parental controls that allow users to block access to channels that frequently contain explicit language. Those channels are designated with an ''XL'' notation.

[...]

I heard part of Wednesday's broadcast, but I didn't hear the part they had to apologize for. I did hear the apology this morning, and frankly the article doesn't do the delivery justice.

Catholic League vs. Chocolate Jesus' creator on Opie & Anthony

This morning on Opie and Anthony, the boys had a somewhat impromptu get together between Bill Donahue from the Catholic League and Cosimo Cavallaro, the artist who created My Sweet Lord. There is a bit about it (including audio) on Foundry Music:

Bill Donohue from the Catholic League, who is now a friend of the Opie and Anthony Show, and Cosimo Cavallaro, who is known for creating imaginative pieces of art out of food, debate his 'Chocolate Jesus' statue. The six-foot display, playfully dubbed "My Sweet Lord," infuriated Catholics, including Cardinal Edward Egan, who described it as "a sickening display." Donohue had said it was "one of the worst assaults on Christian sensibilities ever."

This is just some amazing radio, and Bill Donahue wins line of the day: "Could it be art also if we had a chocolate figure of [Cavallaro's] mother, with genitalia exposed, and we asked everybody to eat her on Mother's day?"

Chocoholic Muslims celebrate the life and times of Naked, Chocolate Jesus

From Yahoo! News:

NEW YORK (Reuters) - A life-size sculpture of a naked Jesus made out of chocolate has angered Roman Catholic leaders, and a Manhattan art gallery is reconsidering whether to exhibit it during the Easter season.
ADVERTISEMENT

The sculpture "My Sweet Lord" by Cosimo Cavallaro was to be exhibited for two hours each day next week in a street-level window of the Roger Smith Lab Gallery in Midtown Manhattan. It was set to open on Monday, days ahead of Good Friday when Christians mark the crucifixion of Jesus.

The Catholic League wants it gone.

Opie and Anthony wonder why he isn't made of white chocolate? Then called for their fans to steal his delicious, chocolate penis.



What irks me is that all the photos are of his chocolate backside. I want some full-frontal chocolate nudity, like I'm watching Oz.

Thanks to Virginia for sending the story.

Bodies: The Exhibition

I didn't make it to Bodies: The Exhibition on my last trip to New York, so I made it a point to check it out this trip. I think the Wikipedia entry best describes it:

"BODIES... The Exhibition" is a controversial exhibit currently showing in Orlando, New York City, Las Vegas, Miami, Amsterdam, and Seattle (with previous showings in Tampa and other cities) showcasing preserved human bodies dissected to display bodily systems.

The museum is set up so that one starts at the skeletal system, and more layers (muscular, nervous, circulatory, digestive, respiratory, urinary, and reproductive systems; as well as fetal development and the treated body) are added in succesive rooms. Containing about twenty bodies in total, each exhibition uses real human bodies that have been preserved permanently by a process called "polymer preservation" so that they will not decay. This exhibition is organized by the publicly traded corporation, Premier Exhibitions Incorporated.

Some of the specimens are arranged so that they are performing activities such as playing basketball or conducting an orchestra. Along the way are other displays showing a human intestine stretched out, the polluted lung of a smoker, and all of the arteries and veins without the body itself. One section includes several fetuses in various stages of development. All of the fetuses died due to miscarriages.

All of the bodies were either unclaimed, unidentified, or donated to science, and obtained through the Dalian Medical University Plastination Laboratories in China.

Mary saw it with her boyfriend in Las Vegas, and I learned that there was an exhibition in New York City while listening to Opie & Anthony a few weeks ago.

I already knew most of the biology that the you're taught as you walk through the exhibition. What was amazing were the cross sectional exhibits: there is a man whose cut down the middle across his body, and his front skin is separate from his front skeleton, then his organs, then his rear skeleton and his rear skin. Another shows a woman who is cut in half down the middle, and what organs are on the right versus on the left.

Amazing also were the plastinations of blood vessles: in a case were all the arteries and veins of the lungs, liver, arms, legs, kidneys, and entire body. There were all kinds of diseased lungs, hearts, etc. I really liked the preservation of all the fetuses, including those with birth defects. There was one of the abdomen of a woman with the fetus inside. An Arab man and his girlfriend chose to skip that exhibit (as the sign on the wall suggests you consider before moving in that room). The plastinized vaginas looked too much like a pocket pussy.

There is this controversy about where the bodies came from, and how the owner of the exhibition is a for-profit company. The offset to that, which I didn't like, was the preachy way it tries to get you to live better and not be shocked on your own. Next to the diseased lungs is a box where you can throw your cigarettes into. There is a full sized preservation of a big fat woman in cross sections so you can see all her fatty-fatty and think to your fat self "shit, I need to go on a diet". People don't need to be prompted, we know you're a bunch of whores.

At the same time, I went through the whole exhibition in 40 minutes. At $27.50 for adults, I thought it was a little pricey. For a few bucks more, an Asian massage parlor could have given my body an oily exhibition.

The Opie and Anthony not-so-walkover

Camping out in the cold is a small price to pay to meet your heros.

Except when they don't show up.

Date: Sat, 10 Feb 2007 19:36:27 -0500
From: theAlphaJohn
To: steve@foundrymusic.com
Subject: Friday's walkover

Steve,

Long time listener in the DC area (when O&A were syndicated on WJFK then had XM for the show's first day back) -- not that it matters. A buddy and I drove up to NYC Thursday night to catch Friday's walkover and completely missed it. One of us was outside CBS and the other was outside the Steinway building by 8:40am and waited until 9:30am but never saw anyone. Just got home tonight and DVR'ed Friday's show on DirecTV, and the show wrapped at CBS at 9 and they were back by 9:15am. What the hell did we miss?

Thanks,
John

Hopefully Steve will write back and let me know what happened...?

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart

I was able to get tickets for The Daily Show with Jon Stewart at the beginning of this week. That's not a huge stretch though, considering that it's really just a ticket to stand in line. None the less, only 2 1/2 hours later I was out of the freezing cold and in the door and laffing and laffing and laffing.

Some interesting things about the taping:

• The "fluffer" is Emmy Award winning writer Paul Mercurio, who happens to be the reason Opie and Anthony were fired for Sex for Sam III in 2001. He does amazing crowd work, very funny.
• Jon actually comes out and answers questions before the show. He took the time to answer every question in the audience.
• There was a story in our taping about the Superbowl commercials, and funny enough was a skit about a robot on the GM assembly line committing suicide. I thought immediately of George.
• The correspondent piece during our episode was about the douche who sued ladies night back in January that Mary sent me.

It was an awesome experience. I need to get on Steven Colbert's show next time I'm up there.

Ramone and Frunkus in the morning

Talk about role reversal.

Opie: Straight man
Anthony: Inside Joke Douche

I almost pissed myself when I heard him say Ramone and Frunkus in the morning.

If you don't get the inside jokes, Jim Norton burns through most of them in the outtakes for O&A's new XM commercial:



That...that's terrible. I'm sorry.

Opie and Anthony: Third Annual Egg Nog Drinking Competition / "The Baby Bird"

This morning was Opie and Anthony's third annual Egg Nog Drinking Competition. Contestants came from far and wide to drink one double-shot of egg nog every minute until they puked...then they were out. Some truly disgusting contestants this year, including future O&A intern Pat Duffy.

Pat from Moonachie, winner of ENDC#1 and the person who drank the most shots of nog in ENDC#2 (though he lost) was the clear winner this year. As he approached the record breaking 75th shot, guest judge and Fear Factor host Joe Rogan had an amazing idea: what if Pat from Moonachie were to unload his puke into the mouth of contest loser and future intern Pat Duffy? E-Rock quickly piped up and named it the baby bird!

And with that, watch the video of radio history being made!

Opie & Anthony: Fatty Pig Fatty tee shirts

Apparently Brother Elmo made a tee shirt for the Fatty Pig Fatty contest (previously mentioned). Rumor has it that a new 530lbs ringer is coming in next week to break the scale.

::oink::

Opie & Anthony: The Fatty Pig Fatty Contest

From Foundry Music:

FATTY-PIG-FATTY CONTEST: (**OPEN TO CLEVELAND LADIES TOO**) Ladies, are you a Big Beautiful Woman (a 'BBW')? Are you sporting some extra baggage? Are you plump? Are you a beefy gal? Do you have a hard time NOT nose-diving into a buffet? Well, if so...WE WANT YOU...to point and laugh at. Of course, we are willing to PAY handsomeley for the privilege. Here's the skinny... or the not-so-skinny, if you will:

- From now until we decide it's over, haul ass to our Free FM studio (40 West 57th St in NYC)...
- Strap on a bikini (or other revealing outfit)
- Put on a PIG MASK (we have one for you)
- Have a snack...or fifty...
- WEIGH IN.

At the end of this contest, the HEAVIEST gal to grace the Opie and Anthony Show with her presence is going to win $10 for every pound on her body. 350 pounds = $3500.00. Now that, ladies...is a lot of hamburgers. Good luck!

In case you couldn't tell, this was Jim Norton's idea.

Opie & Anthony: The Letterman Appearance

Fucking brilliant, total home run.

Little Opie is such a twittering ball of nerves, but as one caller said this morning, "It's like seeing your kid walk across the stage at their highschool graduation."

Opie & Anthony: Commercial for CBS Radio

Do ya think that dress makes you look fat, miss? Do ya?

Opie & Anthony: Jim Norton as "Frank the Frowner"

Comedian Jim Norton, third mic on the Opie & Anthony show and star of HBO's Luckie Louie has created a new character for the show named Frank the Frowner. Frank likes to tell people that it takes more muscles to to frown that it does to smile, and usually sprinkles in a situation where he learned that.

Frank interviews people on the walk over to XM:


I'm having trouble finding a collection of FtF quotes, the only ones I know off the top of my head are: "Did you know it takes more muscles to frown than to smile?..."

• I learned that from my Uncle while he was using my mouth as a pocket pussy.
• I learned that from my babysitter who used to molest me.
• I read that on a bathroom wall while I was serving a negro through a gloryhole.

DirecTV :: Opie & Anthony return to DTV's XM Lineup

Well that didn't take long:

Date: Sat, 22 Apr 2006 13:38:17 -0700 (Z)
To: theAlphaJohn
From: "DIRECTV Customer Service"
Subject: Good News from DIRECTV! [Incident: 060422-001898]

We've got great news! Thanks to the many requests from fans of Opie & Anthony, DIRECTV has decided to bring back XM Satellite Radio's High Voltage XL on channel 879. High Voltage XL will be available as a part of our TOTAL CHOICE PLUS package and should be returning in the next few days. If you don't already subscribe to TOTAL CHOICE PLUS or above, you can do so online. Just sign into your account (or register if you haven't yet) and click on the Change or Add Programming link.

Thanks for writing to let us know how you feel, and stay tuned to DIRECTV to hear Opie & Anthony again.

Sincerely,
Dave S
DIRECTV Customer Service

DIRECTV is committed to providing you with the best possible customer service.
In an effort to continually improve our service, we are asking for your participation in a brief online survey. Please tell us how well our reply to your recent e-mail has met your needs by clicking on the survey link below. We hope you will take a few moments to answer this important survey, and we thank you in advance for your help.

As usual, I win.

DirecTV :: Opie & Anthony removed from DTV's XM Lineup

This is all over the place, including Foundry Music and Orbitcast:

Many of you have written in complaining that the Opie and Anthony Show is no longer on DirecTV, and we have the official scoop from our pal, Eric "E-LO" Logan. Here's the deal:
- DirecTV removed ALL non-music programming from its lineup.
- The Opie and Anthony Show was one of several shows that were removed.
- DirecTV is moving in a music-only direction, and since the O&A show didn't fit into that criteria, it was removed
- The decision to remove the non-music programming was NOT due to performance or content issues.
- If you have any questions or comments regarding the removal of the Opie and Anthony Show from the DirecTV lineup, you should contact DirecTV, and not XM Satellite Radio

Stupid DirecTV. I tried to extort $12.95 a month out of them for the rest of my contract (since my ability to dump my XM subscription was one of the reasons I chose them), but they didn't bite.

It is, however, cheaper to dump them and switch, so maybe I'll just do that.

Fuck DirecTV.

Of Predators and Puppets

I was listening to Opie & Anthony this morning while I was getting dressed, and they were discussing the new Dateline: To Catch a Sex Predator special they did. One gentleman they caught (who was in his late 40s) explained that he has a book that is "father/son" and "grandfather/son" erotica, but didn't mention the name of it.

Jim Norton jumped right on it, "Way to omit the book title, asshole. What's it called, 'Men are from Mars, kids are from Sesame Street'?"

Stern admits to sabotaging Opie & Anthony

On Tuesday of this week, Howard Stern admitted on Sean Hannity's radio program that he did in fact have Mel Karmazin gag O&A from mentioning him at all on their WNEW show. When Howard was asked how this related to his position on censorship and freedom of speech, he responded: "That's right. I believe in censoring anyone who is my enemy." He also added, "I believe in censorship when it benefits me."

Friday Morning Quarterback, a website for radio industry news, published this article yesterday which covered both the Stern interview by Hannity on Tuesday as well as Hannity's appearance on Opie & Anthony Wednesday:

Hannity, appearing on O&A's program this morning discussing the Stern interview, tried to say Stern deserved credit for not dodging the subject, but O&A immediately cut him off, pointing out that this is the first time in the 5+ years that Stern has admitted to his behind-the-scenes wrangling. They also pointed out that the issue went beyond O&A not mentioning Stern on their program and included guests being blocked from appearing on their show. One CBS Radio insider told FMQB that, at the time, then-K-Rock PD Steve Kingston would block music artists from appearing on O&A's program, a statement verified by a couple anonymous record reps. "There was an admission that they were telling people not to appear on our show," explained Anthony.

Back to current day, O&A and their "Pests" have been wreaking havoc with portions of Stern's Sirius Satellite Radio channels. Recently, Scott Ferrell's test run on Sirius was derailed by O&A's fan base as they inundated and controlled the phone lines making it impossible for Ferrell to get a caller on the air that wasn't a fan of O&A.

O&A have also been pointing out what they call more hypocrisy by Stern for taking off certain Fridays, playing audio of Stern, Robin Quivers and Artie Lange discussing why it is important to be in the studio five days a week. "If you are not there on Fridays, then you are doing a disservice to your audience," says Stern in the audio clip. "If you are going to do this job, then you show up every day and give it your best."

The O&A Pests also got written up in this article. Howard even gave them air time after pulling Scott Farrell off the air when the Pests sabotaged his radio show.

If only Howard Stern had been on the plane that crashed into the 14th Street bridge, we wouldn't have to endure this sad ending to his career.