Software Update -> Sad Mac

I couldn't understand why software update kept trying to download EFI Firmware 1.51 for the past three months:

MacBook Pro EFI Firmware Update 1.5.1
This update fixes several issues to improve the stability of MacBook Pro computers.

After the firmware is successfully applied to your Mac, your Boot ROM Version will be:

MBP21.00A5.B08 or MBP31.0070.B07

You can confirm the version of the Boot ROM installed on your computer using System Profiler.

Whatever the fuck that means. It turns out I never followed the post install steps.

Sick of being nagged, I followed the post-install step (hold power button until loud beep), and promptly turned my $2300 MacBook Pro into a brick.

There is a technote on restoring your firmware, which includes the greatest kabuki dance of all time:

Restoring firmware with a Firmware Restoration CD

To restore your computer's firmware, you must first create a CD using the disk image named "FirmwareRestorationCD.dmg" by following these steps:
1. Open Disk Utility (located at /Applications/Utilities).
2. Click the Burn icon or select the "Burn…" menu item from the Images menu.
3. Navigate to where FirmwareRestorationCD.dmg is located, and click the Burn button.
4. Insert a blank recordable CD.
5. Click the Burn button to create the Firmware Restoration CD. The files are burned to the disc.

Next, use the Firmware Restoration CD to restore your Firmware:
6. Make sure that the computer you are trying to restore is plugged into an AC outlet.
7. Turn on the computer and continue holding the Power button. The sleep LED will blink rapidly, then slowly, then rapidly (3 quick blinks, 3 slow blinks, 3 quick blinks).

On Macs that don't have a sleep LED, tones are used instead. Hold down the power button until you hear 3 long tones, then 3 short tones, then 3 long tones.

On Macs that use a tray-load optical drive, the tray will open to allow the Restoration CD to be inserted.

8. Insert the Firmware Restoration CD while the lights are blinking or tones sounding, then release the Power button. A long tone is played once the recovery process has started.
A progress bar appears beneath an Apple logo on a gray screen. The progress bar indicates the firmware is being updated. Do not disconnect power, shut down, or restart the computer during the update or you will need to start the restoration process again beginning with step 6.

The computer will restart automatically after the firmware is updated.

Three fast, three slow, three fast...doh! Still busted.

A trip to the Apple Store later, my Genius tells me the logic board needs to be replaced (a.k.a. no laptop until Friday). Having killed two consumer electronics in two days, I wasn't sure what to do without a computer for three days.

So after much consternation, opinion shopping my friends and family, and a trip to Microcenter, I went back to the Apple Store and bought a Mac mini (which is like a laptop, only without a screen or battery or keyboard). My educational discount saved me a big $20, and I upgraded the ram to 2GB with the leftovers from my MacBook Pro.

Let's see what I break tomorrow.