Accutane is More Funnier

Bad skin runs in my family, and while mine really isn't that bad, my dermotologist tried putting me on Accutane in my early 20s. I didn't have any of the nasty side effects that some people did, but my liver did freak out and I went off it after 4 months.

Accutane comes in burst packs, and in order to pop the pill out you have to first remove a cardboard picture of a pregnant woman with a giant red "NO" slash through it. I used to bring the little cardboard signs into work and hide them places to see people's reactions.



There were also pictures on the inside fold of the burst pack of what a deformed Accutane baby would look like. Supposedly they have malformed or absent nose and ears, and a giant alien-like melon.



I used to joke with my coworkers that I wanted to have an adorable little Accutane baby. I would name him or her "Baby SQL" and only teach it to speak Structured Query Language. Our fictional Baby SQL used to have outbursts and yell "SQL!!!".

Anyway, Trevin IMed me this afternoon:

Trevin: get this
Trevin: I'm listening to a radio report on accutane. apparently, the fda has a new policy that requires all people who take it to register BEFORE they can get the drug
Trevin: despite all that stuff on the medicine, people still take it while pregnant and get the accutane baby
theAlphaJohn: yeah this all went on like six months ago
theAlphaJohn: silly baby SQL
Trevin: wow...you have to have a NEGATIVE pregnancy test if you're a woman if you want it
theAlphaJohn: yeah and you're supposed to keep getting pregnancy tests for it during your treatment
theAlphaJohn: i think if they write you a prescription for it, they should just sew your cooter shut
theAlphaJohn: the FDA would save us all time if they only let ugly hos get prescriptions for it
Trevin: lol
Trevin: true
Trevin: SQL!!!
theAlphaJohn: his deformed ears and nose
theAlphaJohn: his giant alien head
Trevin: SQL!!!

How cute would that be?