Who I Want to Date

As the end of the second summer term approaches (or as I affectionately call it, "8 weeks of hell"), my hectic schedule has reminded me very much of why I'm not dating.

Then again, as tonight was one of my first down nights in quite a while, it makes me realize what I'm looking for in a potential ex-girlfriend: me.

That's right...I want to date myself.

After running a dozen errands when I got out of work, I went to the grocery store for the first time in almost three weeks. Not only did I stock up on the usuals, but I decided to make lasagna and garlic bread and bought two bottles of wine.

Sure, it's after 11:00pm, and yes my lasagna is still in the over baking, but I'm only a stop away from "half in the bag". I need to find a woman (or alternately a robot) who will make me dinner when all I've had for the past three weeks is "Panera--Fuddruckers--Chipotle--repeat::|' and all I want is a home cooked meal.

That, and I would do it for her without a question.

...

I'm going to read this tomorrow and wonder what the hell I meant, but I'll be lying if I pretend not to understand.

Put that in your pipe and smoke it.