Congressman Sweeney (R-NY) campaigns at a Frat Party

Thank you Wonkette for being the only people to read The Albany Times Union Blog.

How amazing is this? Let's have a debate class...

Point (Melissa Carlson, Congressman Sweeney's Chief of Staff):

"As a committed representative of the people throughout the area where he lives and works, he enjoyed the discussion he shared with the students from Union College. (Sweeney) was impressed with the energy and enthusiasm displayed by the students - particularly on a Friday evening."

Counter-Point (John Tomlin, 20, drunk frat boy in attendance):

(Tomlin) said he had interviewed a number of people who corroborated his recollection of the evening.

"If anyone from his district was there, they wouldn’t vote for him."

!!!

In parting, I'll leave you with this from the Times Union Blog:

Sweeney came to the party with Paulie Lichorat, a longtime friend of the congressman who owns Geppetto’s, a bar popular with Union students that is located across the street from Alpha Delt. Sweeney was in Schenectady to attend the wake of a close friend, Carlson told The Concordy, although she didn’t say who.

Union College President James Underwood told the paper that just because Sweeney appeared drunk to the students (who, of course, have no experience in identifying someone under the influence) doesn’t mean he was.

Stupid Panda trained like commando, sent into forrest

From WTOP News:

BEIJING (AP) - China on Friday released a panda bred in captivity into the wild for the first time, and the animal scampered into a nearby bamboo forest where he will be monitored via satellite.

Xiang Xiang, a 4-year-old male raised at the Wolong Giant Panda Research Center in Sichuan province, was trained for almost three years to survive in the wild, the official Xinhua News Agency said.

(1) Can I add the Panda Channel to my DirecTV subscription?

(2) Why is a third world country training stupid animals that won't even help themselves how to survive in the wild? As Dr. Jason Brooks puts it, "They are stupid animals, and they belong with the dinosaurs."

Xiang Xiang, whose name means auspicious, has learned how to build a den, forage for food and mark his territory, experts at Wolong have said. He has also developed defensive skills like howling and biting.

His training began in 2003 in a 215,000-square-foot open-air facility and he was later transferred to an area 10 times the size to simulate a natural habitat.

(3) Who teaches an animal how to bite? A kindergarten teacher?

This story is so fucking odd.

Cake :: 10 minutes and counting

Subject: April Birthdays
Date: Wed, 26 Apr 2006 14:37:55 -0400
From: Ginney Virginia
To: TSD-L

Hi Everyone,

Our April birthday celebration will be held Thursday, April 27, at 3:15 pm in the ITU Conference Room. The following people have a birthday this month:

[ ... who cares? ... ]

Let's see if I deserve cake:

• Came in late


• Two hour meeting to turn the wheels of change


• Lunch with Tom to discuss two hour meeting


• First logged into email at 1:36pm


• Meeting with Kathy to get Oracle Reports off my plate


• Yelled at by Barbara because a script I gave her that one of her people modified broke something


• Leaving for class at 4:00pm

...

I think two pieces are in order.

FEMA be not proud

Holy shit, this is terrific:

Hurricane Katrina exposed flaws in the Federal Emergency Management Agency and the Department of Homeland Security that are "too substantial to mend," and FEMA should be dismantled and rebuilt inside the troubled department, according to the final report by Senate investigators.

The report, to be released to key senators today and to the public next week, makes 86 recommendations that would undo major changes made when President Bush and Congress launched the department in 2003, and would reverse parts of a reorganization ordered by Secretary Michael Chertoff last summer. It stops short of restoring FEMA to independent, Cabinet-level status, as many in Congress and former agency directors want, but would promote its chief to confer directly with the president in a crisis, according to a summary released to news organizations.

The title, however, totally the best part: Hurricane Katrina: A Nation Still Unprepared.

The Sleepy Barbies are Dancing on my Eyelids

I've had slight tremors in both hands for as long as I can remember. Typically people don't notice, or if they do they don't say anything. The only time they're pronounced is when I'm tired.

And right now I'm very tired. Not just "I needed another hour of sleep" tired, but "I'm having trouble holding things in my hands" tired.

My first memory of this was when I was a teenager (probably 14 or 15), and my sleep was all screwed up. My parents woke me up from an after-school nap for dinner, and I was drinking a glass of milk and just dropped it. I saw a neurologist for a while, and the creepy thing was that his office was in my old peditrician's office before they built a building and moved (circa 1990). Other than the tremors, he gave me a clean bill of health.

Still, after I got some coffee at Starbucks this morning, it took every ounce of concentration I could muster not to drop the cup between the counter and the car.

Why am I so tired? Part of it is trying to recover from my parent's visit last week, and the long string of late nights trying to get ready for the Calc test I bombed last night.

But I really, really fucking tired. I could sleep right here at my desk.

: : yawn : :

Wootcast of Death

Several of my friends have tried to turn me on to Woot, the home of "One Deal, One Day". Definately not working so far.

However, one thing I find...interesting...about Woot are the crazy-ass podcasts they do to help schill their Lillian Vernon-esque junk piece of the day.

Today's Wootcast about a pair of "Hammock Chairs of Death" just freaks me out.

How do those poll numbers suit you, El Presidente?

This video shows how 177,440,480 Americans (of the 295,734,134) feel about their leader:



This kind of reception must be the fault of the blue state, liberal college campus you visited, and not the 30%-and-change approval rating that won't even get you a cup of coffee.

I wish the West Wing hadn't just made a joke about the Hoover Institution -- why do Republicans name things after their great failures?

DirecTV :: Opie & Anthony return to DTV's XM Lineup

Well that didn't take long:

Date: Sat, 22 Apr 2006 13:38:17 -0700 (Z)
To: theAlphaJohn
From: "DIRECTV Customer Service"
Subject: Good News from DIRECTV! [Incident: 060422-001898]

We've got great news! Thanks to the many requests from fans of Opie & Anthony, DIRECTV has decided to bring back XM Satellite Radio's High Voltage XL on channel 879. High Voltage XL will be available as a part of our TOTAL CHOICE PLUS package and should be returning in the next few days. If you don't already subscribe to TOTAL CHOICE PLUS or above, you can do so online. Just sign into your account (or register if you haven't yet) and click on the Change or Add Programming link.

Thanks for writing to let us know how you feel, and stay tuned to DIRECTV to hear Opie & Anthony again.

Sincerely,
Dave S
DIRECTV Customer Service

DIRECTV is committed to providing you with the best possible customer service.
In an effort to continually improve our service, we are asking for your participation in a brief online survey. Please tell us how well our reply to your recent e-mail has met your needs by clicking on the survey link below. We hope you will take a few moments to answer this important survey, and we thank you in advance for your help.

As usual, I win.

Meredith swims the 1600 at George Mason

After meeting with my tutor, I went over to the Aquatic Center to see Meredith swim in a meet there. Her triathlon coach encouraged them to join Curl Burke's Masters Team and swim in some of these meets to get more practice and experience with the swim portion. By doing this, Curl Burke gets distance credit.









Meredith takes off:



Strong finish:



She had an excellent showing overall, especially since it was her first time out at this. Amusingly enough, the woman in lane one got out of the pool after 12 minutes because she "wasn't feeling it" so they DQ'ed her. Better than that though, the heat before Meredith swam, they called time when the slowest guy was only on lap 37 (they have to swim 66 laps) and was handed his cane when he got out of the pool. Good for him that he can get his swim on at 134 years old, but damn did he hold everything up.

DirecTV :: Opie & Anthony removed from DTV's XM Lineup

This is all over the place, including Foundry Music and Orbitcast:

Many of you have written in complaining that the Opie and Anthony Show is no longer on DirecTV, and we have the official scoop from our pal, Eric "E-LO" Logan. Here's the deal:
- DirecTV removed ALL non-music programming from its lineup.
- The Opie and Anthony Show was one of several shows that were removed.
- DirecTV is moving in a music-only direction, and since the O&A show didn't fit into that criteria, it was removed
- The decision to remove the non-music programming was NOT due to performance or content issues.
- If you have any questions or comments regarding the removal of the Opie and Anthony Show from the DirecTV lineup, you should contact DirecTV, and not XM Satellite Radio

Stupid DirecTV. I tried to extort $12.95 a month out of them for the rest of my contract (since my ability to dump my XM subscription was one of the reasons I chose them), but they didn't bite.

It is, however, cheaper to dump them and switch, so maybe I'll just do that.

Fuck DirecTV.

Protester heckles Chinese President

Heckler disrupts Chinese President Hu's speech on south lawn at White House: 'President Bush, stop him from killing'... 'Stop persecuting the Falun Gong,' she yelled... She also shouted in Chinese, 'President Hu, your days are numbered'... woman is taken away by uniformed secret service officers... right after Bush urged Hu to allow Chinese to 'speak freely'

Bush's line is the best, "You're ok." Yeah right.

Final Four really pays off

Just got the Staff Senate minutes from the last meeting:

Bookstore NCAA shirt sales
The bookstore sold a million dollars worth of clothing for the Final Four in 2.5 weeks. Last year, the bookstore sold $700,000 the entire year.

Bit Recycling

Worker #3116's blog, Corporate Casual, has this post recounting his and Clown Coffee's discussion today with a coffee shop employee about supporting breast cancer:

Fat Guy: Would you like to support breast cancer?
Clown Coffee: Is it free?
Fat Guy: Well, no, it’s not free.
Clown Coffee: Then no.
Fat Guy: You can support it for free by wearing this sticker.
Worker #3116: Yeah, wear that sticker. On your clothes.
Clown Coffee: I don’t want to wear the sticker.
Worker #3116: Can I get a medium iced coffee?
Fat Guy: Will you wear the sticker if I get it for you?
Worker #3116: No. I dont’t support breast cancer.

This sound remarkably like the last 1,000 conversations I've had Lacey about the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer:

[via email]

From: Lacey
To: theAlphaJohn
Subject: REMINDER - Mark Your Calendars!
Date: Wed, 22 Feb 2006
Subject: Mark your calendars for a great night out on Friday, March 3rd....

Warehouse will be playing at Carpool in Herndon and the band has graciously offered to help me raise money for the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer for the 3rd year in a row!

From: theAlphaJohn
To: Lacey
Subject: RE: REMINDER - Mark Your Calendars!
Date: Wed, 22 Feb 2006
Subject: Mark your calendars for a great night out on Friday, March 3rd....

How am I on this list again this year lacey? Remember me? Pro-breast cancer?

From: Lacey
To: theAlphaJohn
Subject: RE: REMINDER - Mark Your Calendars!
Date: Wed, 22 Feb 2006
Subject: Mark your calendars for a great night out on Friday, March 3rd....

i know you don't like warehouse and you don't like boobs... but i figured you wouldl want to hang with me and lisa ;)

From: theAlphaJohn
To: Lacey
Subject: RE: REMINDER - Mark Your Calendars!
Date: Wed, 22 Feb 2006
Subject: Mark your calendars for a great night out on Friday, March 3rd....

Ahh hemm....I love the sweater meat, but I also love the big casino.

Warehouse, however, I despise.

As I've said many times, I don't like breast cancer, and I certainly wouldn't wish it on anyone, but I am pro-breast and I am pro-cancer. I wouldn't want my charity to one special interest group to impact how I'm perceived by two others.

A Message to all Undergrads

While this is primarily aimed at the darling young lady outside my building twenty minutes ago, this is a general announcement for guys and girls living away at college:

Remember when you were in highschool (probably a senior), and your had one or two "going out" outfits (primarily a nicer, different pair of jeans and a form-fitting tee shirt or tank top) that you hoped would draw positive, hookup-related attention in your direction when you and your social circle were out?

That same outfit, while appropriate for today's sunshine and warm weather is not appropriate for the "Freshman 15" you picked up eating your three squares in the JC or at Ciao Hall. 

Go put on something that fits.

Little Jason's 30th Birthday

Party Favors...?



Check. eCard...?



Check.

Now where did the birthday boy run off to...?

So much makes sense now

My parents are here for Easter and through Thursday -- my mother emailed me yesterday and said "do you have plans for Easter? We're thinking of coming for a visit and helping to do some stuff around the house." Very nice of them so I took them up on the offer.

They arrived tonight, and apparently their cats (which were our cats when Amy and I lived with them) Squeekie and Stucco have become anti-social and down right mean at times. Squeekie drifts in and out of heat (despite being fixed and medicated) all the time, howling at all hours of the morning. They've been debating having her put to sleep (poor little monster has other health issues) but they can't bring themselves to do it.



Later in the evening we discussed a suggestion by their financial advisor to get long-term care insurance. In looking it over, they tell me they've agreed instead to murder each other if one ever gets into a long-term care arrangement.

Of course, these are the people who haven't slept in six months because an aged cat is howling all night and they won't put her down. Yes, these same people are going to snuff out their spouse of 32 years to invalidate the need for another insurance policy.


::sigh::

My dad still wins the award from three years ago:

Me: Hey dad...in April you and mom will have been married 30 years.
Dad: That's right
Me: Wow. What are you getting her for your anniversary?
Dad: Thirty paces and pistols at dawn.

Political Machinations

Rummy isn't having a very good day, what with all these generals coming out to declare his ineptness. Bush continues to defend him with that huge 32% approval rating of his, but I was hoping Susann might help me push him over the edge:

theAlphaJohn: remember how you got me on wonkette?
Susann: yes.
theAlphaJohn: can you do something like that again for me?
Susann: for what?
theAlphaJohn: get donald rumsfeld to resign
theAlphaJohn: :)
Susann: got any damaging evidence?
Susann: other than the obvious?
theAlphaJohn: no but i could invent some
theAlphaJohn: Carl Rove does it every hour on the hour
theAlphaJohn: when he's not eating Wendys

If you haven't seen this video when Bush was questioned by a John Hopkin's student about the rule of law (or lack of) governing military contractors, you must:


And then click here to apply for a Canadian visa.

The War on MySpace :: Gang Members in your Top 8

From DCist:

Area Gangs Going Online: Just one day after the news that MySpace is hiring a security chief to protect its users, the Post delivers a fantastically entertaining article on area gangs' use of social networking sites to chat, make threats, download awesome gun cursors, and generally explore the intersection between stylesheets and street cred. We find it almost as scary as it is hilarious — particularly since our plan to end this paragraph with a joke about Yahoo Groups and the Crips was unexpectedly foiled.

Just think, your sponsor could text message you who to hit when you're jumping in, you could use your camera phone to recognize, post it in your photos section, blog about it, and end up in MS-13's Top 8 that week. Then they could blast out important social messages like "we're planning a stabbing in College Park tonight" and everyone will be sure to get it.

Google Analytics

I (finally) received an invitation code to Google Analytics a few weeks ago. It takes a little while to start collecting data, which I've been doing with Webalizer for probably four years or more.



It has some very interesting features. For the casual piece of internet mastubation like my website, it's probably not as useful as someone running an e-commerce site, but it definately has some cool features.

Typical Top 5 Entry/Exit Stuff:



Page Overlay, to show you on your hyperlinks visually where people are going:



Visitor by region:



Statistics on pages visited:

I miss the Zach Morris

I miss the Zach Morris of Felch Entertainment...

Plums are in the air

theAlphaJohn: campus is dripping with honeys today
Mike: Oooo la la!
theAlphaJohn: i love when it's a nice day and i can smell them
theAlphaJohn: i kept walking by this girl in the hall today, she smelled like plums
Mike: and, you're not a girl?
Mike: sounds awfully flowery.
theAlphaJohn: fuck no
theAlphaJohn: i'm a plum-o-vore
theAlphaJohn: i devour on sight
Mike: ok, sold.
theAlphaJohn: particularly when i'm old enough to buy them beer

Today's Coup brought to you by George Mason

:)

[ed.]
When I came two work today, I had two dotted-lines for a boss, now I have only one.

Concert :: Paul Oakenfold

Last Thursday, Kristin and I went to see Paul Oakenfold hosted by Glow at Club Fur here in DC.


For those who don't know, Oakenfold is a British trance DJ who came to prominence in the late-1990s. These days, most of his time is spent overseeing his label, Perfecto Records (home to Paul van Dyk, among others).


Of his music (and stage presence), people generally have one of three opinions:

• [Non-scene People] - "Oh my God, Paul Oakenfold is the hardest techno DJ ever. Oh-can-fold! Oh-can-fold!"



• [Candy Kids and Scene Regulars] - "What, he actually spun this time? his pre-recorded CD must've gotten lost or misplaced." and "Perfecto Presents: My sellout-ass needs to build our brand and make us more loot."



• [Moderates like myself] - Sometimes Oakenfold is good, sometimes he's not, but the crowd is by far the most entertaining part of the night.

Not only did we get our dance on for three hours, but my night was made by the group of five or six highschool kids who apparently scored some black mitsubishi for the evening. It was like time lapse photography watching them get more and more out of it until it was clear they were going to miss homeroom the next day.

Circus Fat

Ladies and Gentleman, boys and girls, fans of all ages...Kenneth Feld and Nicole Feld are proud to present: the all new 135th edition of Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Baily Circus



[explosion]



[fireworks]



[...]




[cricket]



My friend Erica (who works in Ringling Public Relations) was good enough to comp me a ticket for the circus last Thursday at the Patriot Center. The timing was good considering my Calc class was cancelled and I didn't need to be at Fur for Paul Oakenfold until 11:00pm, so I met Erica and promptly made signs for the news crew while we waited for the rest of her friends to show up: "Ringling kills animals dead", "Feld ruined Pottker's life", and "Serkus is a sin".

I was keyed into the music for the most part, including the Ringling musicians rendition of "Who let the dogs out?" (presumably because they didn't want to pay full royalties to the Baha Men...). The most exciting part was halfway through the show when the band played the Circus Fat theme, which is a cue for kids to beg their parents for more overpriced sugar-substance.

I was glad I didn't see a million former coworkers while I was there, it was nice just to kind of chill with my crew and not be hassled by the multitudes of FELD-bots.

the Alpha John's "No need for research" axiom

In a crowd of emotionally invested people one need not know the subject matter -- simply infer from your surroundings.

Two fine new blogs

As spotted on Wonkette...

DC Bachelor

"WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU? By Sally

A primer for the ladies.

I can tell you why you are not meeting men and why you will eventually spend approximately 5% of your entire life span bitching about how you can’t seem to meet men and asking where to meet them.

Somewhere along the line, women got retarded. It’s like a college education and more opportunities in the workplace made us all stupider in the natural laws of attraction. What I’m going to tell you is solid gold, and if you disagree, then you’re an idiot, and will probably die alone.

1. First of all, why are you turning down social invitations? I hear this all the time from women. "I’m too tired" or "I have to go let my dog out" or "I really have to wash clothes" … really? All of these things are more important than potentially meeting an attractive, eligible man? If you get invited to do something, even if it sounds lame, GO. You’re not going to meet men sitting on your couch in your PJs watching a "Project Runway" marathon. If you live out of town, find friends who live in the District who will let you crash on their couch if you go out at night...and learn the art of walk-of-shame shopping. As a codicil, if you are double- or triple-booked, try to go to everything, if even for only 10 minutes."

First Date DC

March 29, 2006 -- Don’t make love to me
301was310 writes, "The words, "make love" turn me off - is there something wrong with me?

My issue is this: if a guy acts romantic or says anything resembling, "make love," I am completely turned off. I really just want to "fuck"; don’t get me wrong, this has no reflection on wanting to date the person or even get serious with them. In fact, I usually do want to date them if I am attracted to them sexually. It’s just that when it comes to sex, I like it dirty. Overtly romantic gestures or a guy saying something like, "I want to make love to you" actually makes me feel physically ill and I am no longer attracted to the person. Does that mean i am really f-ed up? Am I doomed to be single forever?"

[...]

DCB says, "I love you. God this is what I’m talking about: a sexy girl who just likes to have sex.

The reason guys like to give you oral is because they think it’s the only way they can hook you. They are not confident that their man snake can give you enough pleasure to get a second try. Instead of wasting time how to pleasure a woman orally, a man should know how to use the snake to its fullest potential, unless of course you are the disgraceful owner of a micropenis. Drop me an email the next time you are in DC."

As a bonus, DC Bachelor's "Best of" include DC Puppy Rental Service and Housing Crunch (or, would someone from Craigslist actually rent my laundry room?)

I h@x0r3d my new Motorola E815

Verizon disables OBEX profiles on their cell phones, which means bluetooth only works for the headset and you have to use their (for cost) service to transfer files on/off your phone.

I didn't like the prospect of that...not so much.

I checked out a couple websites on how to edit the seem data, Inetron and Nuclear Elephant. Editing the seem requires a special USB data cable from Motorola, so I ordered that off eBay and it arrived yesterday.

I had a few glitches along the way getting my Windows machine to recognize the phone (all of the stupid Motorola tools and the seem editor are Windows apps), but once I did I was downloading the pictures off my phone over bluetooth in less than 5 minutes.

Now I can upload pictures from yesterday's Circus Rave. I am so fucking 1337, I'm going to go h@x0r the Gibson now.

Larranaga Says No to Seton Hall

From the Washington Post:

Yesterday morning, Larranaga was a guest speaker at the Northern Virginia Technology Council's Titans of Technology breakfast, featuring AOL co-founder Steve Case and Sen. George Allen (R-Va.). Larranaga jokingly referred to the breakfast as the first George Mason basketball fundraiser of the new season. He said he was "very privileged and honored to be working at George Mason University" and called the Washington region "the greatest area in the world."

That's right big Jim...my fucking moon bounce isn't going to pay for itself.

My maniac sister disowns me

I fucking hate my family.

It's 3:00am and I should be asleep, but I'm not. My sister called me at 1:00am and accused me of hacking her computer (and claims I've been doing it for years), then hung up on me and called our mother. She was not making sense when she called me, hence the spastic reply:

Date: Tue, 4 Apr 2006 03:08:54 -0400
From: the Alpha John
To: Amy (the Alpha John's sister)
Cc: Pat (the Alpha John's mother)

Regarding your phone call:

-I did not hack, crack, or make any sort of connection to any computer you were talking about. That includes any of yours (plural) and whomever this third computer belongs to (someone who works at Navteq, I suspect Kirk?). I don't have the interest, skills or the time.

-I have never infected any computer with any virus. Don't have the time, don't have the skills, and I'm philosophically opposed to any viral code whose payload affects the size of the original object (which requires far more assembler then I've ever cared to dabble in).

-Navteq is not a government entity, they are a publicly traded company with government contracts (http://finance.google.com/finance?q=navteq&btnG=Search)

-Of all the days of the week I could have hacked a computer, today was not one of them. I can account for every minute of my day from when I woke to when I got home. I spent the entire day connected to George Mason's network (which, as your can imagine, has extensive logging on what I did today). I worked all day on three different projects (which could not have been done ahead) and peppered my work out to people through email all day. I was at the gym before work, the pool right after work, and wasn't home and back on the computer until after 9:30pm.

-I would need to see whatever logfiles you claim implicate me, but logfiles can be manufactured. I'm sure when Navteq decides to persue this they will subpoena me, my ISP (which, to save time, is speakeasy.net), and my employer and collect all our logfiles only to find what I've known most of my life...you're nuts.

-You made a comment about be knowing you were/weren't coming/going to New York when we met up. I was in NYC every Saturday for six weeks, which you knew. You were the one who told me you were going to be there and that we could meet up. There was no change of plans that you made that I should not have been aware of but was.

When you called me tonight, you sounded like an absolute mental patient Amy. You woke me (and then mom) up, you were clearly upset but rambled incoherently, then you said "I have to go" and hung on me.

I want to be clear about something, and you can take it however you want but there is no anger when I say this: this faux relationship that you and I have is a product of your making. Your life -- the way you behave, how you treat people, your lifestyle -- is of no interest to me at all. You are not a nice person, you never have been, and to let you any closer than arms-length would be a mistake. I care more about the pictures on Paris Hilton's Sidekick than I do about your email, and for you to think that I would do something illegal (even potentially illegal) to find out who you forwarded some Yahoo news article...you are out of your god-damned mind.

You told me tonight that I'm not your brother anymore, which is fine. You need to understand that you haven't been my sister...I dunno ever. I'm not going to pretend to be interested in you because we're related. Don't get mad, don't reply to this email, just lose my address and number and go away. There are plenty of people from high school and college I haven't talked to in years and will never see again -- let's just chalk each other up to that and call it a day.

This is the last direct communication I will ever have with you: if you call me again, I will hang up. If you email me, I will delete it. I don't care if you get married, end up single, have a kid or a terminal illness. Don't contact me, I'm not your brother anymore.

How to Defeat a MySpace Addiction

The Lawson Guru himself John Henley spotted this article about defeating a MySpace addiction and shot it my way. A couple highlights include:

• Stop communicating with people through MySpace and correspond with only those you know, as fellow addicts only contribute to your problem. If you don't want to cut them off completely, consider just taking the friendships that you value off of MySpace. Get their phone numbers, email addresses, AIM screen names, ICQ numbers, or any other information that may be a way of contacting them outside of MySpace. (See Tips.)


• Print out your page. You've probably personalized it and tweaked it to reflect your personality. In a way, it's a work of art that you created. You don't want it to be lost forever, so save a copy in print. Having a hard copy will make it easier to let go of your profile online.

While this is a nice first crack and bringing an end to MySpace addition, I doubt people will stop going to MySpace until it stops being cool and some new tard-mating site pops up.

What I really need to do is invent the next MySpace and cash out. The problem is coming up with a name that NetNanny won't block, because I suspect FantasyBoyScouts.com and eFrottage.net aren't going to make the cut.

Are you going to see Oakenfold?

via email:

theAlphaJohn: Are you going to see Oakenfold?
George: crap, i forgot this was coming up. you down?
theAlphaJohn: yeah. BTW (cause Kristin and i were just looking at it):
PLEASE NOTE:
Gum, Glow Sticks, and/or Audio/Video Recorders Are Not Permitted
DRESS CODE: DRESS SMART.
Dress to Impress - No Athletic wear, no rugged wear, no boots, no timberlands, no hats, no sneakers, no shorts, no flip-flops, and no baggy jeans.
George: it's like they just kicked me out. shit.
theAlphaJohn: remember how much shit that hooker who worked the door at avalon gave you?
George: yeah, i'd have to find my shoes.
theAlphaJohn: i promise not to tell hollister. i wouldn't want you to lose your endorsement deal.
George: i had to google that.
theAlphaJohn: Why? You lived it.
George: i am uber retarded.
theAlphaJohn: lol. prob just too much time on myspace clickity-clicking for little anime-fangirls to worship you

Mason Loses to Florida

Just another reason to despise the banana republic.

23 hours and 59 minutes to go...

until April Fools day is over.

George: what did you do to slashdot??

This is much better than an entire day of fake postings.