Why work when you can talk about genitals?

I've done a lot of work this week, but every non-work conversation this week was about suicide, glory holes, or genitals. So emotionally, I'm about half my age this week.

Will: so josh thinks the name of the flag football team should be the JC Jumpers
theAlphaJohn: !!!
theAlphaJohn: no one will allow that
Will: ya think?
theAlphaJohn: i fucking love it though
theAlphaJohn: i'd rathy be "thompson's glory holes"
Will: haha
theAlphaJohn: we went from softball to flag football?
Will: hahaha
Will: more people are down for football
theAlphaJohn: like i care. i suck equally dude
theAlphaJohn: i'll man up and do whatever
Will: when i played on the softball team a couple years back
Will: i used to smoke and play at the same time
theAlphaJohn: LOL
Will: so
Will: it's not exactly serious
theAlphaJohn: i'll bet you got mad trim for that
Will: shaking it off with a stick
theAlphaJohn: even your tee shirt that said "i have herpes and my religion forbids valtrex"
theAlphaJohn: still needed a bodyguard i'll bet
Will: hahaha
theAlphaJohn: the ladies with smoking fetishes wanted your junk in their trunk
Will: well
Will: they don't call me STD for nothing
theAlphaJohn: VD
theAlphaJohn: it must be latin for "will"
Will: haha
Will: i am making the homepage button for the vaginia monologues
Will: i want it so when you scroll over you get
Will: "rockin'
theAlphaJohn: LOL
Will: "rockin' the va jay j Februrary 12th Harris Theater"
theAlphaJohn: how hot is that?
theAlphaJohn: the vagina monologues: rock out with your cock out
Will: i am scared of the vagina monologues
Will: hahaha
theAlphaJohn: i am too
Will: rock out with your clam out
Will: hahahaha
theAlphaJohn: it scares me how evil i can be around you
Will: actually now that you mention
Will: i do this to lots of people
Will: hahaha
theAlphaJohn: are you like the naughty muse?
Will: i must be
Will: with a heart of gold
theAlphaJohn: aww
theAlphaJohn: you're so adorable, all i can do is pinch your cheeks and wish a horrible death on muppets and children

Tom: Glory-osky! I loved the post about the posting on the glory hole in the men's bathroom.
theAlphaJohn: lol
theAlphaJohn: kirsten cracks me up
Tom: Yeah. She was shocked to hear about such things. I am not sure if was more shocked over that or that I knew what it was ;-)
theAlphaJohn: i know. it's like everyone was keeping a secret from her
theAlphaJohn: i told her that in sex ed, when they separate the boys and the girls, they warn us of such things ;)
Tom: lol. Well I will have to say that interesting things are surely afoot at GMU. People drilling holes in stalls and other events (sadly enough). GMU has all of a sudden become an interesting place to be, kind of.
theAlphaJohn: indeed

theAlphaJohn: why didnt [redacted] slice a lip off her labia and hire that?
Will: wow
Will: hahahaha
Will: i am sure she would of
theAlphaJohn: (1) exactly what she wants, (2) cheap hire, (3) equally useless
Will: if she didn't have a penis
theAlphaJohn: !!!
Will: yep
Will: haha
theAlphaJohn: ...we need to talk son
Will: hahahaha
theAlphaJohn: is it really a penis if it's made of silicone?
Will: word on the street
Will: it's real
Will: real real freaky
theAlphaJohn: something tells me if she stuck it through the thompson hall glory hole, it would go unsucked

::rim shot::