Buddy, you're just not that interesting

I went swimming after work today at the rec center (as opposed to when I swim after work at the pool on campus), did my workout, and rolled into the locker room for a shower when I was done. The showers there are individual walled showers that face into each other, and I grabbed the only open one that was on the end closest to the door I had just come through. I had just finished a really long kick workout, so all of this involves 1/2 of 1 second of caveman think (shower open...stand under...) and while I'm washing pool chemicals and child urine off myself, I become aware of some douche bag yammering at his buddies.

This is a pretty big pool, and they have a lot going on, but my guess by the ages of the guys, the time of night, and how many of them there are that this is a Masters swim team that just finished their workout. Whatever. I'm not really paying attention but this dude keeps fucking yammering -- he's the ony one talking, and then I zone into what he's talking about: his fucking SF-86 and how the people who filled it out did it on paper. ::gasp::

For those of you fortunate to have never worked anywhere near the Federal Government, Standard Form 86 is a piece of preliminary paperwork required for any National Security position. This, and fucking a Senator, are the two most bragged about let-downs in Washington, DC. For real.

Buddy, I know you think you're hot shit, that you're gonna get your Clearance, but guess what? The janitors at NSA have TS/SCI with codeword -- you're going to be cleared for TS with Secret access so you can join the growing numbers of oxygen thiefs riding the bench for some beltway bandit looking to cash in on this round of defense spending.

That's why I called him a douche bag earlier, but that isn't the purpose of this post. See, dude had another personality defect that I zeroed in on as I'm leaving the shower area. All these dudes are still showering and still talking, and as I'm walking past them to my locker I notice that chatterbox is the only one who has taken his bathing suit off, and is standing face out to these other guys while he's talking. Alright, I actually think it's weird when I work out in the morning and the swim team at Mason shower in their bathing suits, but I can go either way on that argument.

I need you to put on your thinking cap to picture the locker room: looking down it's square shaped, and on the left running vertically are the showers and the steam room, just to the right of the showers (still vertical) is the wet area and benches, then just to the right running horizontally are five rows of lockers. Mine is all the way in the back (bottom), so I go there and get changed, and I have to walk toward the front to get to the exit. So while I'm getting dressed I still here the yap machine going on like he's trying to get laid, telling some story about how his girl got called by an FBI agent blah blah blah, and I realize as I'm walking out that he's totally changing out in the wet area which is kind of odd. Why? So he can be near the dude who seemed the least bored in the shower area and finish bragging about how his life is being turned upside down.

Definately not a "gay" issue, but a definate boundry issues. It's like that farting dude that everyone knows that you just want to shake and be like "dude, get your ass fixed", someone needs to be like "even if I was into man junk, the last 20 minutes is more than a lifetime worth".