Iota Kappa Awesome Fall Events

theAlphaJohn: we need to start planning out IK=) activities for fall Will
theAlphaJohn: let's find a guy with HPV and 9 guys without. we'll line then up and make them pull down their pants
theAlphaJohn: girls have to kiss the guys junk and wait a week to find out "prince or frog"?
Will: bahaha
Will: man
Will: you are all over it
theAlphaJohn: im in the spirit dawg
Will: yeah you are

Facebook presents: George Mason's Class of 2011

President's Park is the freshman housing at Mason, and apparently now has its own Facebook Group:

The rooming people of GMu are sending e-mails out starting today informing everybody of your roommates and such things :)

The "rooming" people...?

I wonder how these scamps feel about this exciting life change they're about to embark on. Let's ask lil' Alexander Barrett:

Well thats good... cops wont notice anything about me because I'm just gonna be drunk 100% of the time. It's when I'm sober that you have to be suspicious

Oh Alex...we expect great things from you. We'll check in later and see how you're doing in your academic endevors!

Me thinks it's time to eat a bullet

With apologies to Jim Norton for the post title.

It is 2:20am, and I've been working on a single chapter of Finance homework for most of the day; I have three due at 11:59pm on Sunday. The entire day has been about 10 practice problems, and knowing that I have #10 completely fucked up, I emailed it off to my professor asking wtf I did wrong:

theAlphaJohn: ok this problem is driving me nuts. it makes no sense
Corey: try me
theAlphaJohn: Project Evaluation

Aguilera Acoustics (AAI), Inc., projects unit sales for a new 7-octave voice emulation implant as follows:

Year Unit Sales
1 105,400
2 121,520
3 131,440
4 141,360
5 115,320

Production of the implants will require $1,860,000 in net working capital to start and additional net working capital investments each year equal to 11 percent of the projected sales increase for the following year. Total fixed costs are $1,116,000 per year, variable production costs are $297 per unit, and the units are priced at $403 each. The equipment needed to begin production has an installed cost of $26,040,000.
theAlphaJohn: so NWC increases each year by 11% of the sales increase, which is the number of units * price (403$)
theAlphaJohn: in year four though, next year's sales are less, and in year five there is no next year
theAlphaJohn: so does NWC stay the same in 4 and 5 as 3? does NWC actually decrease (err increase since it's already an outflow)
theAlphaJohn: and the answer so far is none of the above b/c it doesnt get me the right answer
Corey: ouch...i'm glad i had beer cause my head would be hurting right now
Corey: that kind of computations at 1 am is not an easy thing
theAlphaJohn: i wonder if im going the wrong direction
theAlphaJohn: when sales go up, working capital goes down by 11% of the difference
Corey: yeah
theAlphaJohn: so initially it's -1,860,000
theAlphaJohn: then it's -1,860,000 - (48972650 - 42479200) * .11
theAlphaJohn: but in year 4 it flips over b/c sales decrease
theAlphaJohn: the book makes it look like that's fine, but then when i recover NWC the NPV becomes way, way too small
theAlphaJohn: which means the CF is Y5 is way overstated
theAlphaJohn: and then my brain leaks out my left ear
Corey: well i would first get some ear plugs
Corey: brain all over the desk could be a bit messy
theAlphaJohn: i understand the math, but what it means makes no sense
theAlphaJohn: in year one, you need to lay out 1.8 mil in working capital to get this going. then each year, you increase that by 11% in proportion to how much sales go up
theAlphaJohn: ..
theAlphaJohn: in year 4, when next years sales go down by 30,000 units, you recover 1.15 million dollars
theAlphaJohn: that makes no fucking sense
theAlphaJohn: you wouldnt need to put any more money out to accomodate sales, but you wouldn't get back almost as much as you laid out initially
Corey: hmm...this one seems to be hard without writing down all the calc. in front of me on paper to see the flow
theAlphaJohn: i want to do business in this imaginary world where a 20% drop in sales means a million bucks back in your pocket
Corey: hehehe that would be really nice
theAlphaJohn: it'd be baller
theAlphaJohn: fiddy and i would be racing our gallardos down the road
theAlphaJohn: cause when a huge drop in sales puts a mil in your pocket, daddy goes to lamborghini and buys himself a fresh ride

Homework Manager gives you all 10 practice problems in one group, but the graded assignment doles out problems in two parts. Before calling it a night, I decided to do the graded homework problems for Chapter 10 (even though I'd bomb the one) just so I felt like I accomplished something. Homework Managers allows you to retake the assignment up until it's due and only the highest grade counts.

I logged in and did Chapter 10 Part 1 and the first problem doesn't resemble any of the practice problems: I got 50%!

I have been doing practice problems, reading the book, working in Excel, all god-damned day for 50%?!?!

What kind of noise do you think a giraffe makes when you slit its throat from the bottom all the way up? Maybe I'll track down a tall ladder and run over to National Zoo tonight so I can find out.

Who I Want to Date

As the end of the second summer term approaches (or as I affectionately call it, "8 weeks of hell"), my hectic schedule has reminded me very much of why I'm not dating.

Then again, as tonight was one of my first down nights in quite a while, it makes me realize what I'm looking for in a potential ex-girlfriend: me.

That's right...I want to date myself.

After running a dozen errands when I got out of work, I went to the grocery store for the first time in almost three weeks. Not only did I stock up on the usuals, but I decided to make lasagna and garlic bread and bought two bottles of wine.

Sure, it's after 11:00pm, and yes my lasagna is still in the over baking, but I'm only a stop away from "half in the bag". I need to find a woman (or alternately a robot) who will make me dinner when all I've had for the past three weeks is "Panera--Fuddruckers--Chipotle--repeat::|' and all I want is a home cooked meal.

That, and I would do it for her without a question.

...

I'm going to read this tomorrow and wonder what the hell I meant, but I'll be lying if I pretend not to understand.

Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

Tom, now a Dateline regular, too cool for the room

NEW YORK (Reuters) -- Popular Internet social network MySpace said Tuesday it detected and deleted 29,000 convicted sex offenders on its service, more than four times the figure it had initially reported.

[...blah blah nobody fucking cares...]

The minimum age to register on MySpace is 14.

"We're pleased that we've successfully identified and removed registered sex offenders from our site and hope that other social networking sites follow our lead," MySpace Chief Security Officer Hemanshu Nigam said in a statement.

If you are looking to catch an STD, there's an old social networking site called The Rock It Grill...perhaps you could check that out?

It's Almost Over...

it's almost over
it's almost over
it's almost over
it's almost over
it's almost over

...

If I went to sleep tonight (ha!) and never woke up, I can't say that I'd be disappointed.

Well, I wouldn't be anything but dead at that point, but you get the idea.

Zombies have it so easy. They get to be walking dead and don't have to worry about paying their mortgage.

AtomX remixes and spins my track

My buddy DJ AtomX asked me if I was going to catch his show on Example FM .NET live this week. It's at 6:00pm on Saturday nights, and since I'm doing homework I was able to catch it live.

I sent him a remix I did a couple years ago of "The Hand That Feeds" by Nine Inch Nails; Trent put the master out in Garage Band format in April of 2005 and I fucked with it. It's only 3 minutes long and I've long since lost the Garage Band project I used to make it.

Lo and behold, Adam remixed it up to about 8 minutes and spun it in tonight's show. We talked after, and both agreed it could use some tweaking, but it was pretty hot to hear my shit live on stupid Internet(s) radio.

I'm downloading the un-fucked original G.B. masters now, and I think I'm going to take another stab at it. Looks like I'm going to be laid up for a few weeks in August, so I'll have time to mix some more shit up.

And it looks like my super-secret DJ name might finally need to come out of hiding.

Hasbro Earns a Special Place in my Heart

Hasbro found a way to make a good toy even better:

NEW YORK (CNN) -- For the second time this year, toymaker Hasbro has issued a recall for about 1 million Easy-Bake Ovens after receiving complaints that young children were getting their hands or fingers stuck in the oven's opening, causing serious burns.

The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission and Hasbro received about 249 complaints of children getting their hands stuck, 77 of them reporting burns.

One 5-year-old child sustained burns so severe that part of her finger had to be amputated.

[...]

I wonder if Hasbro will give me a deal on those recalled ovens instead of reworking them. I'll donate them all to Toys for Tots.

What exactly is an Organizational Behavior class about?

I'm taking my required Organization Behavior class this term; I've been meaning to share some details about it despite being half-done.

OB is a social science that focuses on the psychology that managers in business need to know: leadership, motivation, team work, diversity, et cetera. The class is being taught by a member of the psychology department here at Mason, and she also happens to be a PHD student. She's really nice and very intelligent, but how the class itself is run requires some commentary.

• Our professor said that we can use her first name.
• We were given oak tag and markers to make name cards, so she can learn our name.
• We watch a video at least once per class: snippets from Office Space and Meet the Parents to illustrate some topic that we're covering.
• For our exam, we had to give her a blank Scantron a week before so she could put together color coded packets for us.

What I'm trying to say is that the title of class should really be "MGMT301: Feel Like a 4 Year Old on a Long Car Ride".

Somebody kill me, please

I got 0/20 on Monday's Finance quiz. So much for my mad bond evaluation skillz.

I had lecture today (in addition to another quiz) : 2 hours
I had a homework assignment due : 3 hours
I did the review packet for tomorrow's exam: 90 minutes



6 1/2 hours of Finance is way beyond my limit. I need to go home and pray that this week's episode of Rescue Me can distract from the wasteland of present values and discounted cash flows rotting my brain.

It's not like I need to fucking sleep before I get up and do it all again tomorrow.

Common Sense Begins to Sweep the Nation

From CNN Money:

Hybrid lovers: The honeymoon may be over
As the reality of fuel efficiency sinks in, fewer new car buyers are considering a hybrid, according to J.D. Power

NEW YORK (CNNMoney.com) -- The percentage of car shoppers considering hybrid vehicles has declined in the past year, according to a survey released Tuesday by J.D. Power and Associates.

Fifty percent of new vehicle shoppers surveyed said they are considering a gasoline/hybrid electric vehicle. That's down from 57 percent last year.

[...]

Interest in hybrid vehicles declined the most among younger shoppers. Last year, 73 percent of car shoppers between ages 16 and 25 said they were interested in a hybrid vehicle. This year, 60 percent were.

Car shoppers also said they were willing to pay an extra $2,396 for a hybrid powertrain while expecting a fuel economy improvement of 18.5 miles per gallon.

Meanwhile, consideration for diesel-powered vehicles stands at 23 percent. Last year, only 12 percent of car shoppers considered purchasing one. New clean-diesel models, which have much cleaner exhaust than older versions, have just begun appearing on the market this year along with the low-sulfur diesel fuel needed to run them.

Shoppers expected to pay $1,491 extra for a diesel powertrain. They also expected to get about 15 mpg better fuel economy.

[...]

All those required economics classes appear to finally be paying off, not to mention people are waking up to the reality of how efficient hybrids aren't.

Now bring on the hybrid-diesels...

Google Reader Trends

Since I don't seem to be writing anything, you can at least see what I've been reading:

[click image to enlarge]

WTF is going on with me?

Last Thursday's Finance exam: 75%
Last night's Operations Management exam: 72%

This term is not going well. Let's hope my Management exam this morning went a little better.

Job Descriptions

Every company in America demands a job description...just not a well written one (or one that's been copy edited). It drives me bat-shit crazy when I read a bad one.

What makes them bad? Too specific (will need to be re-written next year when Software 2008 comes out), too vague ("Needs good people skills"), too much prose (it's not a book report, you don't need to hit a word quota), I could go on and on.

Be concise, say what the skills the person has to have, make sure when you post it you'll get some applicants (not too narrow) but not too many applicants (there's that vague thing again). This isn't rocket science.

Here, we have the additional guidance that the Commonwealth puts on us, and we need to put specific things to measure in there for our appraisals at the end of the year. Don't put things in that can't be measured.

Today I was asked to read over a new job description for a CMS administrator:

theAlphaJohn: oh christ
theAlphaJohn: im reading this new [job description]. now it's a WCMS not just a CMS
Will: what the fuck is the W for?
Will: Wicked
Will: Wang
Will: Whack
theAlphaJohn: Web
Will: ...
Will: wow
theAlphaJohn: A. Knowledge, skill and abilities:
- Strong communication (written and verbal), analytical, and organization skills (R)
- Working knowledge of Adobe, PHP, HTML, UNIX/Apache, principles and techniques of web design (R)
theAlphaJohn: Adobe is a brand, not a skill
Will: hahahahaha
Will: it's a language
Will: duh
theAlphaJohn: why Unix/Apache? Why not just Apache?
theAlphaJohn: "techniques of web design" like that can be measured
theAlphaJohn: it might as well say "mad web skillz, science-droppin', and jive foolery"
Will: yes
Will: hahahaha
Will: jive foolery
theAlphaJohn: "A bachelor’s degree in CIS, IT, or other related area preferred. Appropriate experience may be considered in lieu of a degree."
theAlphaJohn: (1) fucking spell out the degree name
theAlphaJohn: (2) does a WCMS admin really need to be a CS nerd? cause if you took two semesters of assembly language and lisp, do you really want to work with coldfusion and html?
Will: yeah
theAlphaJohn: 3 flavors of useless

Sicko

Sicko was, in two words, Fucking Brilliant

My friends know I only see two movies a year in the theater, and that was well worth one of them. I highly recommend you don't wait for it to come to DVD, go see it now. This is Michael Moore's most polished movie to-date.

Also, if you have not yet seen Moore vs. Gupta on Larry King, I highly recommend you do so. Even Market Watch is talking about it.

Washington City Paper investigates LNS

The Washington City Paper, a publication I rarely read because I can only do so in one sitting, featured this article about Late Night Shots:

The three guys sitting at the bar at Town Hall in Georgetown swear it's a true story: A friend of theirs called a buddy in the middle of a sexual conquest, placing his cell phone out of view. When the voice mail picked up, it recorded him asking his lady, "You like that Republican cock?"

Then the bearded one in the middle busts out with this: "Do you like anal sex?" I squint. I'm confused. "Do you do anal?" he repeats, head bobbing with excitement. The litany continues. Do I want to take it in the ass? Have I ever taken it in the ass? My silence is taken as an affirmative and he announces that this interview will go no further unless he receives a hand job. I retreat into a hole carved out during similar sessions in high school and head for the door.

[...]

There are excellent write ups about it on Jezebel and sister site Wonkette (who regularly takes shots at LNS).

Ads for the new 2008 Subaru WRX

I like the look of the new WRX, but it turns out the US version will have a modified Legacy engine, and not the new Impreza Engine. I'll wait and see what 2009 brings us...

Buzzlife Presents: Oscar G @ Club Five

I met Aundrea and Tammy at Five on Friday to see Oscar G. Aundrea and I ended up closing the place down -- great show.

We took a break around 3:00am, and wandered upstairs to the deck. Some guy who's a producer/promoter/iPhone owner tried to run some sorry game before the photographer came by and snapped this:



What a dirty little raver I've turned into.

Traded

Date: Wed, 04 Jul 2007 21:19:36 -0400
From: John Ross
Subject: FNAN-301 Lab Reassignment

Based on laptop/computer availability, you have been reassigned to room SOM2 in Student Union II for your FNAN-301 lab recitation. Beginning tomorrow (July 5th) and for the rest of the summer term, please report to SOM2 at your normal class time on Tuesdays and Thursdays for your lab.

Thank you for your cooperation.

John E. Ross

This is exactly like the MLB, but in the basement of a Student Union and with Excel instead of bats and gloves.

They must have found out that I led my team in errors for my one season of Little League. ::sigh::

Happy Birthday, Aunty Samantha

[Photos from High Rezolution]



This entry is post-dated, because I was a dehydrated disaster on Wednesday.

Corey, Kirsten, and her friend Onseya joined me for a bangin' evening at Firecracker. Corey and I had a brief pre-game in the parking lot, then made our way inside. While I was in line, a lass named Andrea and I discussed DJ Icey's performance a few weeks ago in Chicago, and that she was there to see Starkillers (who I was also excited to see live for the first time).



Apparently there are four DJ booths in Fur, but before Tuesday night I'd only found two. We wandered into the Mafia room so I could catch part of Bob Jong Ill's set. He was spinning what I would call progressive house, which isn't my favorite, but I really enjoyed what I heard.

Kristin and Onsaya finally showed up, so we worked our way into the main room to hear the end of Icey's set. As I've said, I'm not the biggest break-beat fan, but he really pushed that sound system to the edge; I'm glad I wore ear plugs. We worked our way toward the booth and ran into Andrea and her friend Tammy; we ended up dancing together for most of the night.



In talking to Tammy after the show, it turns out we were just a few feet from each other during Paul van Dyk's show.

Andrea and Tammy:



Sweaty Mess:



...

Back to Fur: at one point last night, I got pissed that my shoes kept coming untied, to I kicked them off and danced on the disgusting dance floor without them.

In short: Bob Jong Ill kicked ass, Icey spun a good set, Starkillers rocked the house, and DJ Dan crushed the crowd at the end.

More pics of our crew:

Buzzlife Presents Firecracker at Club Fur

For one special night, a little bit of Nation returns from the rubble:

SET TIMES

MAIN ARENA
10:00-11:30 SCOTT HENRY
11:30-01:00 ICEY
01:00-02:30 STARKILLERS
02:30-close DJ DAN

DNB ROOM:
09:00-11:00 BOBBY JAE
11:00-12:30 MARCUS INTALEX
12:30-02:00 DJ MARKY
02:00-close APHRODITE

MAFIA ROOM:
09:00-11:30 SECTION 8
11:30-12:30 BOB JONG ILL
12:30-02:00 TITTSWORTH
02:00-03:00 MATT NORDSTROM

MINK ROOM
11:00-12:30 RAMIRO
12:30-02:00 CATALYST & CHARLY C
02:00-03:30 TONY B

This lineup causes priapism.

Summer C Term Begins

...didn't I just finish a semester??

I need to drag my ass to Starbucks before class. Holy Christ am I tired.

Is George Dead?

He's not responding to my emails, text messages, or voice mails. I suspect the Football is deflated; perhaps from over-abuse at his farewall party of Friday...?