Saturday, October 20, 2007

Google News Es Bustido

I mean, what news?


Via SMS:
Corey: i can't -- no
theAlphaJohn: :-@
Corey: ?
theAlphaJohn: !
Corey: What does :-@ mean?
theAlphaJohn: I think that is a wide agape mouth sticking its steven tyler tongue out

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

The Semi-Sweet Coming of Christ

Last Spring, we were excited to learn about The Chocolate Jesus, and to hear the argument between it's creator and the head of the Catholic League on Opie and Anthony.

Once again, Virginia is on the ball with this update:

NEW YORK - "My Sweet Lord," an anatomically correct milk chocolate sculpture of Jesus Christ that infuriated Catholics before its April unveiling was canceled, returns Oct. 27 to a Chelsea art gallery, its creator said Tuesday.


The exhibit, at the Proposition Gallery in Manhattan, will be accompanied by a set of chocolate Catholic icons created by Cavallaro, a group that includes the Virgin Mary and saints Francis, Augustine, Michael, Jude, Anthony and Fermin.

"After the cancellation of the show, it got me to look into the Catholic religion a little deeper," Cavallero said. "I started thinking about the saints, how they were ostracized for their beliefs and then canonized."

Cavallaro's work features Christ with outstretched arms, as though hanging from an invisible cross. Unlike traditional religious depictions of Christ, Cavallaro's Jesus lacks a loincloth.

The sculpture is actually a new version of "My Sweet Lord," created with 200 pounds of chocolate over three days. The original was stored in a Brooklyn facility where mice nibbled away at its hands, ears, nose and feet, forcing Cavallaro to toss the original and recast the sculpture.

Oh my sweet, milk chocolate Jesus!

I'm saddened that the original was nibbled at by mice, but thrilled about his new, delicious entourage of sweet saints. If Walmart is carrying Jesus Action Figures, maybe Hersheys could work on an edible nativity scene to replace the nasty, chocolate Advent Calendar we're all sick of eating?

The idea of biting the Baby Jesus's head off on Christmas Morning...



Monday, October 15, 2007

Happy Monday!

My Powerbook just made this cranky face:

and now it won't boot.

I have a burning bag of dog shit project I inherited three weeks ago that goes live this Sunday, along with two midterms and two group projects this week. A dead laptop is the last thing I need.

It's time for lunch: Maybe if I'm lucky, a Metro Bus will run me over on an empty stomach.

Friday, October 12, 2007


I met Kim's puppy after my haircut today:

This calls for a video:

I am the only person I know without puppies. I must fix this.

Employees of Chipotle might be stranger than me

Last week I sent this email to Chipotle:

From: theAlphaJohn
Phone Number:
Sent: 10/3/2007 7:47:30 PM
Store Visited: Fairfax, VA
Date Visited:

If Fairfax City is a college town, and the last class gets out at 10:10pm, why is Chipotle closed at 10p and not 11p?

Which I thought was a reasonable question. This is the response I got:

From: Ken Marley
To: theAlphaJohn
Cc: Four Other Chipotle Employees
Subject: Reply from Chipotle
Date: Thu, 11 Oct 2007 16:37:44 -0600

Hello John,

Thank you for writing us with your concern. Tell your professor that Chipotle gave you permission to leave class early to get you burrito fix. If he gives you any grief, have him contact me directly and I will set him straight. I got your back. We hope you will continue to find your burrito love with us.

Ken Marley


Thursday, October 11, 2007

I'm so odd that I should be in a study

Nothing...nothing! Makes me happier after a 13 hour day of work and school than to fire up the grill and make Hofmann hotdogs on Wegmans wheat hotdog buns with green beans.


Does Glaxo know about this? Fuck a whole bunch of Prozac, I gots-me a weiner!

Monday, October 08, 2007

Williamsburg, VA

Back when I was a Madrigal Singer in April of 1996, we performed at Bruton Parish Church in Colonial Williamsburg.

Since I couldn't get a hotel in NYC at the last minute I had not been there in years, I decided to spend Columbus Day Weekend there.

  • Stayed at Crowne Plaza, which allows pets. Too bad I don't have a puppy.

  • Dinner at The Trellis, one of the best meals I've ever eaten

  • I sent text messages to all the former W&M alum I could think of to find out where the best night spot was in Williamsburg. Billy's answer: Paul's. Despite getting a Guinness in a plastic cup (and a single pour), this college bar provided lots of wonderful young flesh to gawk at.


(Miss Angel on the left, Corey and his goatee in center, and Miss Diana on the right):

  • Breakfast at a random pancake house. Hit the spot.

  • Went to Busch Gardens, which is running their Howl-o-Scream...whatever it is.

  • While in line and being attacked from teenage werewolves, I see my new hero: Daddy Juice Pig:

    Daddy Juice Pig was there with his little (maybe 8 years old) son. Complete with b-acne and swollen forehead, he proved that it's never to early to show your children how important performance enhancing drugs can be.

  • Dinner and drinks at Paul's (Yum!)

  • Another pancake house breakfast

  • Visited Jamestown, took pictures, and most-of-all: sweated. Everything there is basically a 100 year old recreation of its former, 400 year old self.

Restful, relaxing, and out of my system.

Friday, October 05, 2007

Best Hotel EVER!

Crowne Plaza in Williamsburg, VA not only lets you bring your dog, but gives you 1,000 extra Priority Club points for bringing her!

+1 Puppies (woof!)

Thursday, October 04, 2007

Useless Trivia

Yes, I am in fact browsing with a Mac.

Subjugating Desires

Just for the sake of argument, how long is one expected to make the trade off between something they want to do and something they should do?

In such a case, how long before it's expected that they will:
  • Lose the ability to control their temper
  • Make trade offs in other aspects of their life that are not positive
  • Say "fuck it" and give up on what they should do
  • Have a breakdown and end up in an asylum


Kid Nation 2: Kids Say the Darndest Things...In Space!

I finally got a chance to watch Kid Nation, and I think CBS might be on to something. While I'm not a huge fan of it's "Western Ghost Town" motif, I think they may have pushed the envelope enough here to look forward to KN2. I discussed this today with Will:
theAlphaJohn: Link
Will: hahaha
Will: awesome
theAlphaJohn: i blame small children
Will: always blame children
theAlphaJohn: indeed. they smell, they drool
theAlphaJohn: i watched kid nation last night. i would like KN2 to be set on a base on the moon
theAlphaJohn: and if the kids get homesick, we space them
Will: space them
Will: hahaha
Will: that's awesome

All I have to say is this: small child suffocating in the vacuum of space == ratings gold.


Oh thought that was mean?? Deal With It!

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Past and Part Participle of Hang

Season 3 of Top Chef is over:

Does anyone know what the past participle of BOO!!! is?