Are We There Yet?
27 minutes ago
theAlphaJohn: did i send you the MIT automated dorm room link?
theAlphaJohn: you must follow the link and watch the video
theAlphaJohn: push the party button, and listen to the gayest techno ever
Ransim: HAHAH all I can think is, OMG dorks
theAlphaJohn: when i used to go to florida and do training for the disney on ice staff, we used to joke that some of the guys need "you got game" training, cause they have none
theAlphaJohn: these guys need a 001-level course
Ransim: I'd hate to be in a room near theirs though
theAlphaJohn: no kidding
theAlphaJohn: 3am influx of nerds...the girl with the mousey hair who has never met conditioner
theAlphaJohn: they get drunk and discuss episodes of Laguna Beach
Ransim: HAHAHA do they wear the stuff they see on MTV because it has a +10 aura of cool and a +3 change of attracting the opposite sex?
theAlphaJohn: nerds wearing hollister, little do they know, is no better than nerds in mt dew tee shirts and old navy cargo pants
Ransim: like the great hat of Rico sauve channeling?
Ransim: "like omg dood I totally got this shirt from hot topic and the guy that works there says its like totally +10 for Charisma, so i can attract chicks"
theAlphaJohn: skinny guys with bed head are not more attractive in a shirt that says "i gave your mom a ride"
theAlphaJohn: i should put a course proposal together and send it to mit
Ransim: fat girls in sparkly baby tshirts and stringy hair are not made more hotter by the shirt sporting a playboy symbol either
theAlphaJohn: omg indeed
theAlphaJohn: actually here's a serious faux paux i saw at starbucks today, i need an opinion
theAlphaJohn: is there an age when you're "too old" to have two-tone hair (black and bleach blonde) and wear eye shadow with glitter in it?
Ransim: yea, like 22 or 23 maybe depending on how you look
theAlphaJohn: so if you're pushing 40? like late 30s?
Ransim: unless you LOOK like you're in your early 20s
theAlphaJohn: yeah not so much
theAlphaJohn: i just wanted to shake her and say "i know you're listing to Pixie by Ani diFranco in your car, but you're not a paper doll"
Ransim: I hate seeing old women dressed like they're teenagers
Ransim: *shudders* especially in halter tops with their sharp shoulder blades and wrinkly old people flesh out, and saggy old women boobs without a bra *shudder*
Ransim: I also have a special hate on for capri pants as well
theAlphaJohn: I don't understand all the guys in mandles
theAlphaJohn: but my ex-gf was a nazi about mandles and manpris
Ransim: ewww yeah I can understanding the mandles when you're at the beach they are alot more comfy then flip flops, but every single day?
Ransim: and flip flops.... nothing urks me more then seeing people in sweat shirts, jeans and FLIP FLOPS
Ransim: at least we aren't in japan
Ransim: ganguro *shudder*
Ransim: you've never seen ganguro?
theAlphaJohn: so basically, it's a fashion trend of all that is horrible
Ransim: yup... crazy japanese
theAlphaJohn: would the american version be fake tan, glitter eye shadow, a spiral perm after bleaching one's hair white, low-rise capri pants, halter top, thong, tramp stamp on the lower back, coach purse, and very high pointy shoes?
Ransim: or a candy raver
theAlphaJohn: it is foam rave season
theAlphaJohn: the most hygenine that candy ravers get all year
Date: Sun, 28 May 2006 16:04:51
Subject: my soul is in danger
parents left this am
i slept until 2pm
i'm in my underwear watching laguna beach on mtv, the *worst* show ever
Date: Tue, 30 May 2006 01:13:54 +0000
While looking around the internet i found the little girl who took
Her Mane Is Obviously Fake
Dad: What are you going to name your new horse, honey?
Little girl with My Little Pony: Skankbag!
Overheard by: Michelle
CLtramp: i'm sorry, but if you want a girl to actually reply it helps if you sound like a nice person and not a mean jerk..... just a little advice.
theAlphaJohn: but then i'd be lying, and what girl wants to ride a liar like a painted pony?
CLtramp: true i won't fuck an asshole. I will only have sex with guys who are fun
theAlphaJohn: which, if you got to know me, you'd realize i am fun and nice. just ask my married fuck buddy
CLtramp: that was a joke right?
theAlphaJohn: bend over i'll show you
CLtramp: well i am going to bed now. good night and good luck
theAlphaJohn: good night to you then. and try not to roll over, lest skinny be dead
Monday, May 22, 2006
Marriages made in Mac heaven
Love was in the air as Apple opened its newest retail store on New York's Fifth Avenue. The eighth person in line proposed to his girlfriend, and she said yes. No word on the response to the enterprising engagement-seeker who presented his proposal to Uschi Lang in front of an Apple-operated time-lapse camera. Some tips for the newlyweds-to-be: Here are helpful instructions on how to plan your wedding on a Mac
|Lowfat Turkey Bacon||330||7||3||20||750||43||21|
|Ham, Egg, and Cheese||400||17||8||180||990||40||22|
|Sausage, Egg, and Cheese||490||19||9||170||900||40||20|
John Carmack's hobbies probably aren't a lot like yours.
He spends two days a week building rocket ships. His idea of a getaway weekend consists of holing up in a hotel room and writing programming code. And he likes to speculate on worst-case scenarios for the video game industry (and believe me, this guy can envision some scary stuff).
These days, though, cell phones are his primary hobby - specifically making games for them. It started as a lark, he said, but it has become something he quietly hopes will revolutionize gaming.
"We're probably going to have a sequel to 'Orcs and Elves' but I'm really into the idea of a massively multiplayer cell phone title," he said. "I have absolutely no interest in going and competing with Blizzard in the high end of that market, but a cell phone version might be interesting."
D.C. police cited D.C. Council member Marion Barry for a traffic violation after a minor accident early yesterday in Southeast Washington, police said.
Officers at the accident scene raised questions about Barry's sobriety, checking a box on a police report that said he appeared to be impaired. Barry (D-Ward 8) passed a breath test, however, after he was taken to the 1st District police station. He was permitted to drive home within an hour or two of the crash.
The 70-year-old former mayor was cited for failing to yield the right of way, an offense punishable by a $50 fine. He plans to contest the citation, his chief of staff said.
The crash took place at 12:10 a.m., when Barry pulled his 1990 Mercedes out of a parking space and into the path of an approaching sport-utility vehicle, police said.
From: "Customer Relations"
Subject: case: 561532
Thank you for your email. We are sorry you could not find the items you needed in the Fairfax store. Actually, this store will be closing permanently on 6/2/06. We hope you will be able to visit one of our other locations.
Thanks for shopping with us.
Harris Teeter Customer Relations
Classes and exam ended on May 8th. Faculty members will be submitting their grades very soon.
As the Provost, I wanted to be sure that you were aware of the confusion and lack of service surrounding grades at NVCC. I have been a part time student since 2001 -- I remember paper grade mailers and have received my grades electronically through NOVANet/NOVAConnect many times.
There is, however, little or no documentation on when professors are supposed to have grades recorded in the online system, and my attempts to get that information have not been very successful. The only reference I can find anywhere on the NVCC website is in a Word document on NVCC Alexandria's page (http://www.nvcc.edu/alexandria/finals_sp06.doc) that says grades are due "Tuesday, May 10th" (today is Tuesday, and tomorrow is May 10th). I spoke to someone in admissions and records at Alexandria who told me they didn't know, "but soon", and I received this response to an email I sent today:
Classes and exam ended on May 8th. Faculty members will be submitting their grades very soon.
Since we no longer receive grades in the mail, the lack of communication as to when grades will be available online traded one frustration (waiting for paper to arrive in the mail) for another (knowing when grades have posted electronically to myNVCC).
I would suggest that in the future, when grades will be posted should be added to the "Important Dates" for that term.
Career NVCC Student
Lesbians react differently to the powerful sexual chemicals called pheromones than heterosexual women do, a new Swedish study finds.
However, lesbians don't respond to pheromones in exactly the same way as heterosexual men do, said study author Dr. Ivanka Savic, an associate professor of clinical neuroscience at the Stockholm Brain Institute.
The new research suggests that "female sexuality is quite different than male sexuality," he said.
What, though, if the drop in teen pregnancy isn't a good thing, or not entirely? What if there's a third explanation, one that has nothing to do with just-say-no campaigns or safe-sex educational posters? What if teenagers are less fertile than they used to be?
Not the girls—the boys?
The great sperm-count debate began in 1992, when a group of Danish scientist published a study suggesting that sperm counts declined globally by about 1 percent a year between 1938 and 1990. This study postulated that "environmental influences," particularly widely used chemical compounds with an impact like that of the female hormone estrogen, might be contributing to a drop in fertility among males. If true, this was obviously an alarming development, particularly given that human sperm counts are already strikingly low compared to almost any other species. "Humans have the worst sperm except for gorillas and ganders of any animal on the planet," points out Sherman Silber, a high-profile urologist who attributes this in part to short-term female monogamy. Since one man's sperm rarely has to race that of another man to the finish, things like speed and volume are less important in human sperm than in other animals, permitting a certain amount of atrophy among humans.
Among the evidence presented are several trends that seem to point to a subtle feminization of male babies: a worldwide rise in hypospadias, a birth defect in which the urethral opening is located on the shaft of the penis rather than at the tip; a rise in cryptorchidism, or undescended testicles; and experiments Swan has done showing that in male babies with high exposure to compounds called phthalates, something called the anogenital distance is decreasing. If you measure the distance from a baby's anus to the genitals, the distance in these males is shorter, more like that of...girls.
Mike: well that's smart
theAlphaJohn: smart is one of the many adjectives used to describe me
Mike: oh really?
theAlphaJohn: people also use wise
Mike: generous? Or generou$ (with a dollar sign)
Mike: You do spend a lot of time on craigslist
theAlphaJohn: I hate you
Short-timer Tom: Hey you have to try out some of the crazy ideas as well.
theAlphaJohn: those are my favorite
theAlphaJohn: especially when they don't work
Short-timer Tom: Like having a uni-pony ;-). Or a uni-pony jumping on a moon-bounce?
theAlphaJohn: that's the point tom -- i need the moon bounce so the pony has something to do when i'm at work. now pony knees aren't designed for bouncing, but hopefully evolution will kick in
Short-timer Tom: Assuming that there are "jumps" in evolution (pun intended) that would allow the knees to evolve in a generation or two.
theAlphaJohn: think how much more excited little girls would be at jumping ponies?
theAlphaJohn: then parents wouldn't need both a pony and a moon bounce
Short-timer Tom: Too f'ing funny. I can image the Saturday morning commercials for that one.
Short-timer Tom: My Little Jumping Pony. Only available at Wal-Mart.
theAlphaJohn: my ponies will be genetically engineered to rage against walmart
Short-timer Tom: Could it be that there will the maniacal, jumping, killer, robot ponies for the boys?
theAlphaJohn: with armored head-mounted water cannons?
Short-timer Tom: Cool! I like that. Of course you have to have the remote control rocket launcher saddle attachment.
theAlphaJohn: can we breed them so the pony patties are toxic?
theAlphaJohn: and make them unkillable? and then make them zombies?
Short-timer Tom: Then they will take over the world! Great!
theAlphaJohn: "Unkillable Zombie Bouncing Fight-Ponies"
theAlphaJohn: The first rule of pony fight club? never talk about pony fight club
Short-timer Tom: Of course we will have to have the "Night of the Living Zombie Robot Ponies". The new movie that will scare the living daylights out of you.
theAlphaJohn: but it would be a reality show
theAlphaJohn: and some celebrity could host it
Short-timer Tom: Yes, that's the point. There really is no escape. Bwa ha ha ha!
theAlphaJohn: it would be on animal planet, and they'd go from city to city watching little boys have mock battles with their zombie fight-ponies
theAlphaJohn: like living anime it would be
Short-timer Tom: Hmmm. Kind of like Yugio but with real life zombie Pony-Pal ponies.
theAlphaJohn: trying to put together a breeding program for this will be hard
theAlphaJohn: but in five generations i want "painted vampie zombie fight ponies". they can drink the blood of neighbor children
Short-timer Tom: Of course we would want to cross bat genes into the breeding so that the vampire ponies can fly.
theAlphaJohn: maybe i can get the red cross to lend VC to the project if the ponies cut the RC in on their blood ... uh...consumption? donation?
theAlphaJohn: don't be ridiculous tom
theAlphaJohn: flying vampire zombie bouncing fight ponies?
theAlphaJohn: that's too many adjectives
theAlphaJohn: i can't market that shit
Short-timer Tom: LOL.
Short-timer Tom: How about Vampire Zombie Bouncing Flight Ponies. Just change Fight to Flight and you are all set.
theAlphaJohn: i can't get the rich bitches of mclean to buy that up?
theAlphaJohn: maybe if we offer two lines
theAlphaJohn: for the girls: ponies who fly
theAlphaJohn: err for boys: ponies who fight
theAlphaJohn: but no teeth, only fangs
Short-timer Tom: We have to think long term here. There are going to be many pony lines. We have to keep our eye on the market to see what it is people really want. I mean, we can have the flying/fighting ponies for the kids, but maybe there is an adult line as well.
theAlphaJohn: we're dangerously close to katherine the great here tom
theAlphaJohn: maybe we should quit while we're ahead