Sunday, October 01, 2006

I hope the CEO of Chase Bank dies in a fire

I called Chase from my work phone Saturday morning for two reasons: find out my interest rate, and to talk them down to 0% for 12 months. Now this tactic rarely works with credit card companies because they (like cell phone providers) treat new customers like gold and existing customers like rust.

I spoke to a woman in customer service who could not help me, so she transferred me to some other department. I waited on hold for almost 5 minutes before the phone hung up on me. Thinking nothing of it, I just decided I'd conduct this negotiation online using their (horrible, awful, hideous, user-adversarial) website. I exchanged three emails with three different agents who clearly didn't read what I wrote to them.

Around 4:00pm, I decided to run to Wegmans and get some groceries. I filled up my cart with a weeks worth of tastiness, swiped my little Chase Mastercard, and bang...declined. Since I had Just done my bills, and I knew I had about $9,200 in available credit, I knew I was in for a treat.

I called the 800 number on my card and was directed to the consumer fraud department. Miss Shanaynay answered and done-asked me a half dozen random security questions to make sure I was me, and was all "what can I do for you?"

"Umm...why am I talked to you? And why was my card declined?"

"Well sir, you called in from a number we didn't recognize yesterday, and you never spoke to the person you were directed to so your account was suspended."

"Wait...so...I called in from my office number, which you should have on file, I answered all the security questions I was asked, and because I was transferred to another department and disconnected before I got there my account was suspended?"

"That is correct."

"And no one called me back?"

"No sir, we don't do that."

"Well I exchanged three emails with customer service about my interest rate after that. None of them thought to mention there was an issue with my account, or indicate that I really should call in to discuss this so you could verify my identity?"

"No."

"Alright. Are you authorized to close my account? Because that is who I need to speak to right now."

When I finally got to the retention specialist, dude was like "I can give you 10.74% on your account." I told him, "I am already an American Express customer, and I have an offer in my hand: 0% for 12 months on purchases and balance transfers. If you can't match that then close my account and go fuck yourself."

He closed the account. My car loan is with Chase, and when that fucker is gone in January they're not getting my business again.

16 comments:

Nick said...

If you can't match that then close my account and go fuck yourself.

This will be my opening line of many upcoming phone calls... :)

Anonymous said...

I'm pretty sure it's better for your credit rating if you pay off the balance and leave the account open. Creditors like to see long-term accounts in good standing. If there's no annual fee, you should have fixed the security issue, paid off the card, and opened a new account somewhere else.

Anonymous said...

I'm satisfied with the service I've gotten from Chase. But if you want to talk about Capital One...they truly suck giant wads of suckiness.

Anonymous said...

Damn, I soooo miss Wegman's...

Anonymous said...

Chase is a member of the evil spawn, where Capital one is more evil than any psychotic mother-in-law could be! Though Chase claims to offer "totally free checking," I have translated that scheme/saying into "totally FEE checking!" Those bastards will take every penny from you they can!

Anonymous said...

Chase is a filthy loan sharking operation, and I hope the greedy scumbags who profiteer from usury all burn in hell forever.

Anonymous said...

Chase, like most other banks, are small-minded ECO-TERRORISTS! Just inspect the bloated fees they charge ...

No matter what they will bring us to our knees, steal from us and eventually run away with our money.

CreditExplorer said...

I'm in the process of choosing a bank to get a card. Looked through several banks, read numbers of reviews and comments: half of the people hate Chase, the other half are quite satisfied with the services... Still in doubt, whether it is good bank or not. THe card offers are up to the mark, I think.

Anonymous said...

Those idiots at Chase Bank have ruined my credit by trying to make me pay for my dead mother's credit card account.

My mother had no assets and I don't think it's fair for me to pay off her $2,500 debt as I benefitted nothing from her account.

I hope those ghouls at Chase Bank can't sleep at night - those insensitive turds should be flushed down a big toilet.

Anonymous said...

I was informed by Chase that my Credit Card was closed a week and a half after they closed it. I had 153,000 reward points that they took and I cannot get back. That is stealing, I earned those points and they did not even give me a chance to use them. By the way, I had the account over 20 years and have not missed a payment, they just decided I had too much debt even though I paid $3,000 a month payments to my card.

Anonymous said...

I got a call to lock in 4.0 rates I sent them every thing they need plus 750.00 doolars they did nothing and said i cant get my money back.crocks.

Anonymous said...

One payment got lost in the mail..it was on time...they never got it and raised my interest to 27%. May they all rot in hell.

Louis VL

Anonymous said...

I have had a WaMu credit card for over a year. It was changed to Chase in March and now Chase doesn't feel that I am credit worthy to keep this account so they closed it. I feel that I am being penalized for WaMu going bankrupt. I will write to the CEO, but I am sure they could care less about the little consumer. I guess I will have to inconveinence myself and take by business elsewhere. I left Bank One because of their customer service, I guess I am technically back with them since Chase bought them also.

Anonymous said...

chase is terrible to all its' employees and when you get near retirement, they find ways to fire you before you can get the full benefit of your retirement...... there's a class action suit going on about it....these people are evil.

Anonymous said...

I also have had bad customer service from them fuckers...I don't blame the employees, their following rules and regulation...it's the people that makes the rule the board of directors....they should of been them in 911 not the innocent people that die...I hope they rot in hell for robbing their customers...

Jj

Anonymous said...

I agree chase bank sucks! I have never been treated like such a loser from any bank like this one. Never heard of a bank not waiving a 1 time late fee for good paying customers like mysef. They didnt give one ounce of shit my dad is dying from cancer and I was 2 hrs late paying online, so your right- chase can go fuck themselves!