Tuesday, April 08, 2008

NAVTEQ: We lose, you win

Thank you for your recent Map Report. We have completed our investigation of your Map Report.

For the NAVTEQ tracking number: 00570CU8IJ2VDVJZ
Submitted on : 27, Dec 2007 11:54:58
Problem Description:
Montrose Road has been moved, construction still in progress.
http://www.nbc4.com/traffic/14879081/detail.html
http://www.montgomerycountymd.gov/content/dpwt/capital/dcd/htm/MontroseDetour.pdf


Our Resolution Outcome is: Database Updated - Navigable Geometry
Details: The new, open segment of Montrose Parkway has been added to the NAVTEQ database. Please see PVID 750115166. This information was field verified.

For more details, proceed to your Map Report at http://mapreporter.navteq.com

NAVTEQ delivers regularly scheduled map updates to our business partners which include database enhancements. The commercial release dates for these products will vary depending on each business partner’s product plans. If your Map Report did not result in a database change, please note that we track these items and evaluate them with our business partners on a regular basis to enhance navigation system performance.

Having the latest map in your system makes a difference to system performance with the latest roads, addresses and Points of Interest. If you are interested in an updated map for your navigation system, please contact your system provider or check our online store at http://store.navteq.com.

We welcome your feedback on the NAVTEQ Map. Thank you for helping to keep the NAVTEQ Map the most accurate and highest quality in the business.

Regards,
The NAVTEQ Map Reporter Team


Now I just need to wait until my stupid GPS gets this update.

Thursday, April 03, 2008

TV Writers: You May Go Back on Strike


I may have to eat my criticism of Bravo in light of their new hit show Step it Up & Dance. This writer-less masterpiece, staring Elizabeth Berkley (who has added 34 credits to her bio since her 1995 Emmy winning performance in Show Girls), has given me something besides Law and Order reruns to watch.


That's right fools, we don't need you anymore.
"Step It Up & Dance" is a reality competition series where contestants will learn what it takes to make it big in the cutthroat dance industry. Celebrated actress and dancer Elizabeth Berkley will serve as host and Emmy Award nominee and Tony Award-winning director and choreographer Jerry Mitchell will mentor the 12 dancers chosen from around the country, as they master every conceivable dance style, from ballet and ballroom to Broadway and burlesque.

When the contestants first meet Elizabeth, they cut away to James, who is as excited about 12 weeks of Jessie Spano as I:
"Show Girls was a grueling movie -- like...she had to dance. And she danced on Save by the Bell, and she sang. Hello? I'm so excited.

Thank you James, I couldn't have said it better myself. People often think I'm kidding when I say that Show Girls, once you get past 2 hours of naked booby-dancing, is the greatest story of personal triumph ever captured on film.

Once Elizabeth gives her introduction speech, she tells everyone to go check out their apartment and get ready, because they are going out tonight. They make their way to Boulevard 3, where the music is bangin' and the alcohol is flowin'. As Miguel says, "Hello? Free alcohol? Go for the gold." The dancers one-up each other until...

[music stops]
Elizabeth: "Everybody stop! We're gonna pause the music and stop! Extras...thank you so much, you can leave. All my dancers, come right here."
Janelle: "What's going on?"
Elizabeth: "Your first challenge has already begun


Oh dang! Judges are watching, and this is the first challenge. I wonder what the message boards are saying about this?!?!



::cricket:: ::cricket::

After a dance off, a judge divides everyone into a winning group and an elimination group. After making the winning group, James ("we're sisters") and Miguel ("and yeah, we call ourselves the mean girls") are seen rolling around on a bed, laughing how Michael is not good.

The winning group had 90 minutes to choreograph a 1 minute routine to Spice Up Your Life (which happens to be Miguel's favorite Spice Girl's song). They made it look much easy, but I'm sure it wasn't. The elimination group, which had both (questionably) straight male contestants, were performing a different minute of Spice Up Your Life.

Tragedy strikes less than an hour before callbacks as Nicole's injury (caused by the boots she wore at Boulevard 3) sends her to the hospital. It's a race against the clock, and when the hospital tells her that she has a torn tendon, she decides to leave the show. ::death of Incredible Hulk music::

Special guest Scary Spice comes to see the performance, is there no end to the A list celebs Bravo will throw at this show? It needs no help, it's the best show on TV. If, like Andrew, I had paid $150.00 to see the Spice Girls live, I could better judge these performances. Janelle won the first challenge, James was a close second, and Jessica would have gone home if she didn't have immunity.

And now, THE LOSERS, who are 1 loser short. The looks on the judge's faces were priceless, so which loser gets to go home? The elimination phrase can make a reality show a hit, and Nomi Malone sealed this show's success when she told Adriana, "The show's over".

This show, like everything Elizabeth does, is way ahead of its time. Any criticism it gets shows the critics don't realize that this is the America's glorious future.

So viewers, if you want to watch the next big hit, set your DVR and Step it Up!

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Sex with (Patio) Furniture

No surprise, this is from Fox News:

(BELLEVUE, OH) -- Police say a man in Bellevue, Ohio was caught on tape having sex with a picnic table.

Bellevue Police Captain Matt Johnson says Art Price, Jr., 40, was seen on four occasions between the hours of 10:30 a.m. and noon having sex with his picnic table. What makes this a felony, Johnson says, is that it took place in close proximity to a school, which made it likely that children could have seen Price.


The police officer interviewed for this piece makes it worth watching:



I'm reminded of Weird Al's movie, UHF, where he interviews people about Sex with Furniture. Sadly, I could not find the clip on Youtube.

Monday, March 31, 2008

caGrid 1.2 Released

date: Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 12:41 PM
subject: Announcing release of version 1.2 of caGrid Core infrastructure

On behalf of the entire caGrid core infrastructure team, I am pleased to announce the release of version 1.2 of caGrid core infrastructure. All the release artifacts can be accessed at https://cabig.nci.nih.gov/workspaces/Architecture/caGrid

Some of the key enhancements for the release include:

- Creation of a simplified Grid Transfer Service to handle large scale data transfer for grid based queries

- Integration with the latest releases of Software Development Kit (SDK) and Common Security Module (CSM)

- Availability of a new Web based Single Sign On Framework, called WebSSO, for providing single sign on capability for web based applications integrated with caGrid GAARDs security infrastructure, based on collaboration with the caBIG Clinical Trials Suite (CCTS) team from the Clinical Trials Management Systems Workspace

- Substantial improvements to usability of tools such as Introduce Toolkit based on user feedback

- Integration with Apache Ivy build system for improved dependency management of sub components within the caGrid core infrastructure

- Early preview to integration with the Taverna Workbench for developing workflows, based on collaboration with the Integrative Cancer Research Workspace

- Backward compatible with the caGrid 1.0 and caGrid 1.1


Feel free to contact us if you have questions or suggestions.

Thank you for your interest in caGrid!


My third project out the door since November.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

caBIG(TM) in Computerworld

A nice write up on caBIG(TM) in Computerworld:

[...]

The National Cancer Institute took on that issue in 2003 by launching what it called the largest IT project in the history of biomedical research. The NCI created what is, in essence, a World Wide Web of cancer research.

The Cancer Biomedical Informatics Grid, or caBIG, promises to help researchers, physicians and patients across the country to better share more-detailed information about diseases and thus speed the development of new drugs and treatments for them.

The government-funded effort costs about $20 million a year, the NCI said.

To date, 42 of the institute's 63 national cancer centers are either linked to the caBIG grid or are installing the necessary infrastructure to participate. Many are already building applications that can be shared by members of the grid.

[...]

Friday, March 21, 2008

Hey Jeebus! Who's your publicist?



Pope Benedict AND Jesus Christ in the news? What about the Easter Bunny?

That's some algorithm you got there, Google(s).

Monday, March 10, 2008

NY Governor Spitzer: "Involved" in a Prostitution Ring

From Albany Times Union:

Report: Spitzer involved with prostitution ring
Associated Press Last updated: 2:22 p.m., Monday, March 10, 2008

NEW YORK -- The New York Times is reporting that Gov. Eliot Spitzer has told senior advisers that he had been involved in a prostitution ring.

Spitzer is scheduled to make an announcement Monday afternoon.

Spitzer officials wouldn't immediately comment on the story.


What does "involved" mean? Did he help them file a class action suit against Trojan?

He has been governor for about 20 minutes, and you can expect his resignation by close of business.

Idiot.

Friday, March 07, 2008

Possibly the Greatest Invention Ever


William-Sonoma's Beer Tender:

Available exclusively at Williams-Sonoma, the innovative BeerTender from Krups and Heineken allows you to enjoy fresh, perfectly chilled pub-style draft beer at home. The sleek, self-contained appliance features a patented system engineered for compatability with Heineken’s compact five-liter DraughtKegs, the only kegs available featuring the CO2 technology that keeps beer fresh for up to 30 days. The internal carbonation unit ensures that each serving delivers a crisp, refreshing draft brew topped with an optimal head of foam. Freeing up space in your refrigerator, the BeerTender is simple to use. Just insert a keg and position its tube, then close the lid and select the desired serving temperature. A powerful Peltier cooling system provides precise chilling to three preset temperature settings. Displayed on a digital panel, readouts include both current temperature and desired temperature. Volume and freshness indicators show how much beer remains in the keg and how long it will maintain top quality. Intended for indoor household use only. 11 3⁄4" x 19" x 16 1⁄2" high.


Soon enough, this bitch will be in the outlets, and then she will be mine.

Cross One Nightmare Off My List

From Gothamist:
The owners of four Manhattan Burger King franchises are locked in a nasty legal battle with their royal overlord. Luan Sadik and his sister, Elizabeth Sadik, rebelled against the mandatory 99-cent menu and the recent dollar Value Menu because the prices couldn’t cover the obscene Manhattan rent and the fast food monarch roared.

According to the Daily News, their rent at a Fifth Avenue restaurant is $9,000/month and $18,000.month at a 47th Street location. The Sadiks also kick up a monthly royalty to the King based on gross sales.




Dear Creepyface,

Monthly rent on my bed just went up to $30,000.00 per month. Pay, or get the fuck out.

Home of the Not-so-much-whopper,
tAJ

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Susann's Amazing Puppy Plan

Susann and I discuss puppies:

theAlphaJohn: i want 4 puppies
Susann: get 3 girlfriends and that would be perfect
theAlphaJohn: i like the way you think
do you know 3 girls who wouldnt mind sharing me?
cause im pimp like that
Susann: im sure you could find some on craigslist
theAlphaJohn: i'm allergic to online dating in any form
Susann: how about online hooking up?
theAlphaJohn: that's different
i'm in a 12 step for that
esp M4T (where T == nubian tranny >= 300lbs)