Thursday, April 03, 2008

TV Writers: You May Go Back on Strike

I may have to eat my criticism of Bravo in light of their new hit show Step it Up & Dance. This writer-less masterpiece, staring Elizabeth Berkley (who has added 34 credits to her bio since her 1995 Emmy winning performance in Show Girls), has given me something besides Law and Order reruns to watch.

That's right fools, we don't need you anymore.
"Step It Up & Dance" is a reality competition series where contestants will learn what it takes to make it big in the cutthroat dance industry. Celebrated actress and dancer Elizabeth Berkley will serve as host and Emmy Award nominee and Tony Award-winning director and choreographer Jerry Mitchell will mentor the 12 dancers chosen from around the country, as they master every conceivable dance style, from ballet and ballroom to Broadway and burlesque.

When the contestants first meet Elizabeth, they cut away to James, who is as excited about 12 weeks of Jessie Spano as I:
"Show Girls was a grueling movie -- like...she had to dance. And she danced on Save by the Bell, and she sang. Hello? I'm so excited.

Thank you James, I couldn't have said it better myself. People often think I'm kidding when I say that Show Girls, once you get past 2 hours of naked booby-dancing, is the greatest story of personal triumph ever captured on film.

Once Elizabeth gives her introduction speech, she tells everyone to go check out their apartment and get ready, because they are going out tonight. They make their way to Boulevard 3, where the music is bangin' and the alcohol is flowin'. As Miguel says, "Hello? Free alcohol? Go for the gold." The dancers one-up each other until...

[music stops]
Elizabeth: "Everybody stop! We're gonna pause the music and stop! Extras...thank you so much, you can leave. All my dancers, come right here."
Janelle: "What's going on?"
Elizabeth: "Your first challenge has already begun

Oh dang! Judges are watching, and this is the first challenge. I wonder what the message boards are saying about this?!?!

::cricket:: ::cricket::

After a dance off, a judge divides everyone into a winning group and an elimination group. After making the winning group, James ("we're sisters") and Miguel ("and yeah, we call ourselves the mean girls") are seen rolling around on a bed, laughing how Michael is not good.

The winning group had 90 minutes to choreograph a 1 minute routine to Spice Up Your Life (which happens to be Miguel's favorite Spice Girl's song). They made it look much easy, but I'm sure it wasn't. The elimination group, which had both (questionably) straight male contestants, were performing a different minute of Spice Up Your Life.

Tragedy strikes less than an hour before callbacks as Nicole's injury (caused by the boots she wore at Boulevard 3) sends her to the hospital. It's a race against the clock, and when the hospital tells her that she has a torn tendon, she decides to leave the show. ::death of Incredible Hulk music::

Special guest Scary Spice comes to see the performance, is there no end to the A list celebs Bravo will throw at this show? It needs no help, it's the best show on TV. If, like Andrew, I had paid $150.00 to see the Spice Girls live, I could better judge these performances. Janelle won the first challenge, James was a close second, and Jessica would have gone home if she didn't have immunity.

And now, THE LOSERS, who are 1 loser short. The looks on the judge's faces were priceless, so which loser gets to go home? The elimination phrase can make a reality show a hit, and Nomi Malone sealed this show's success when she told Adriana, "The show's over".

This show, like everything Elizabeth does, is way ahead of its time. Any criticism it gets shows the critics don't realize that this is the America's glorious future.

So viewers, if you want to watch the next big hit, set your DVR and Step it Up!

1 comment:

AR said...

im not a huge fan of scary spice, but that $150 was the best $150 i've spent in at least a year. you simply cannot comprehend the power of spice