Our classroom has theatre seating, and I sit one row from the back. Christine, who always checks me in at the Aquatic Center, sits right behind me. She is fast becoming my partner in disgust (though I'm recruiting Todd from the other side of the room).
Last night, Christine was talking to a couple of girls I didn't notice on Saturday, then again I really don't pay much attention. One of the girls (Cora as I found out later) had mistaken the time and showed up after class was over, so she was trying to get the low-down on what she missed from Christine.
Christine left at 8:00pm to meet her math tutor, and just a couple minutes later Alpha Dumb Bitch starts in about how she's irked that our professor isn't teaching the techniques for this particular model exactly like the book, and asked(in her testy bitch tone) "which way should we be using -- your way or the book's way"?? I turned around to the girls behind me and said, "There are two people in this class that I despise, and that is one of them." I can only imagine the douche chills I gave them when I said it, because I'm a seething dick-face.
Not thirty seconds later, in the most opportune of comedic timing, Cameron Manheim dumped her entire bag of snacks all over the front row of the class, and our professor had to actually help her pick up her snacks. I turned right around to the girls and sneered, "and that is the other".
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
Oracle's Corportate Time is the biggest piece of shit-software I've ever used
That's all I have to say about that.
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Supply Side Shock
I knew in the back of mind that this was coming, but I had no idea it would be so soon:
I hate Reagan. I hate his Building, I hate his library, I hate his airport, and now I hate this textbook. Hate hate hate.
President Reagan negotiated a "voluntary" import quota on Japanese cars sold in the United States during the 1980s. Some of his advisors had recommended that he impose a higher import tax (tariff) instead. Assuming the tariff was in the form of a constant tax T per Japanese car sold in the United States and that T was chosen to produce the same quantity reduction as the quota, how will the prices paid for Japanese cars by U.S. consumers compare under the two policies?
I hate Reagan. I hate his Building, I hate his library, I hate his airport, and now I hate this textbook. Hate hate hate.
I despise head hunters
Why must you find my resume, beg me to call you (an email last night, a voice mail this morning), then waiver on whether I might or might not be a match for your shitty contract job on the other side of the Potomac?
Go fuck yourself.
Go fuck yourself.
Monday, July 10, 2006
Opie & Anthony: Jim Norton as "Frank the Frowner"
Comedian Jim Norton, third mic on the Opie & Anthony show and star of HBO's Luckie Louie has created a new character for the show named Frank the Frowner. Frank likes to tell people that it takes more muscles to to frown that it does to smile, and usually sprinkles in a situation where he learned that.
Frank interviews people on the walk over to XM:
I'm having trouble finding a collection of FtF quotes, the only ones I know off the top of my head are: "Did you know it takes more muscles to frown than to smile?..."
- I learned that from my Uncle while he was using my mouth as a pocket pussy.
- I learned that from my babysitter who used to molest me.
- I read that on a bathroom wall while I was serving a negro through a gloryhole.
Sunday, July 09, 2006
College's Dumb Pageant
I was able to sneak into the last Summer session ("C Term") to try and get one class done before the Fall semester starts. Since Micro Economics is a prereq for just about everything the School of Management has to offer, I decided that was where I should devote my four weeks (Tuesday and Thursday evenings and Saturday mornings).
If you know me, you know I've been in college for about ten years now. Just about every class I've taken has someone who fills a required role (Returning-Adult Answerbot, Stupid Question Asker, Disinterested Napper, and Lady Lunchtime). School generally follows the same concept as The Real World: all personality-types must be represented, all serious students must be annoyed.
My Econ class has a much more ecclectic mix that I'm used to. First of all, it has the highest percentage of hot girls I've ever had in a class (goodbye Computer Science, hello School of Management).
The characters this go-round are much more animated though. I didn't expect TV's Cameron Manheim to play the over-compensating Returning Adult Student, complete with giant purse and equally giant beach bag full of snacks.
Also sitting in the front row is a girl I have knicknamed "Alpha Dumb Bitch". Have you ever seen that gaggle of dumb bitches sitting around and squawking out nonsense, and one is clearly the boss of them all? Yeah, she and her caucasian updo are in my class. I'm sure you're thinking, "Wow Alpha John, you and Alpha Dumb Bitch could make adorable Alpha Babies together", but I'm pretty sure she'd end up like Lacie Peterson and I'd be sharing a cell with Scott when all was said and done. Anyway, ADB (and Cameron Manheim for that matter) like to ask unrelated questions to prove their intelligence.
Before I share my anecdote about Saturday's class, let me tell you about our professor. He's Hispanic, probably late 20s early 30s, I'm guessing he's a PHD student, and English is not his first language. He clearly knows the material, and while he doesn't use the best examples to illustrate the model he's discussing at that very moment, if you've done the reading ahead of time (as dictated by the syllabus) you have no problem following the lecture. He tries to keep the lecture upbeat, definately not a snoozer, so maybe not the best professor I've had but probably in the top third.
In our lecture on Saturday, we discussed the idea of price ceilings (i.e. rent control) and price floors (i.e. government declaring the minimum price for things like crops) and he's taking us through the model for each. During the discussion on price ceilings, Cameron Manheim feels she needs to reinforce his teaching with a not-so-related example even though we were just exploring the model. It wasn't as though the room was lost, but she felt she needed to help everyone understand, and I fucking hate when people do that. I have only done that once or twice in a Comp Sci class when the professor couldn't make people understand his point and was finishing for an example, but I certainly didn't take over the room because I felt he didn't explain it well enough.
One of the key discussion points for price floors is that the government sets the price (this was typically done with agribusiness) and guarantees they will buy any surplus. About five minutes later, when we were going through the model, Alpha Dumb Bitch decides to drop some science about how the Government used to pay farmers during WWII not to grow anything on their land. While she glowed that she knew some Social Studies that he didn't, I was like "bitch...that's not a price floor". He took another minute or two to wrap up the model, and then Alpha Dumb Bitch asks, "Can you give an example of anytime when the government instituted economic policy and it like actually worked?" and Cameron Manheim actually cut him off mid-answer to give her example. The front row was a flurry of stupid, and in the mean time our Professor stood at the front of the room, frozen (like a sitcom "freeze frame" where the actors all hold still) for a good 15 seconds and then just kept on going. We all looked at each other and were like "what just happened?".
The highlight of Saturday's class, however, was sitting in front of a girl (a SAG actually) who smelled like she murdered a Bath & Body Works on the way to class. When she sat down, a Pig Pen cloud of artificial fruit scents knocked me out of my chair. What was really hot though was the Layne Bryant spaghetti strap tank top she wore on her oh-so-dumpy body, and the quartet of zits bursting forth from her backfat. Utter hotness.
If you know me, you know I've been in college for about ten years now. Just about every class I've taken has someone who fills a required role (Returning-Adult Answerbot, Stupid Question Asker, Disinterested Napper, and Lady Lunchtime). School generally follows the same concept as The Real World: all personality-types must be represented, all serious students must be annoyed.
My Econ class has a much more ecclectic mix that I'm used to. First of all, it has the highest percentage of hot girls I've ever had in a class (goodbye Computer Science, hello School of Management).
The characters this go-round are much more animated though. I didn't expect TV's Cameron Manheim to play the over-compensating Returning Adult Student, complete with giant purse and equally giant beach bag full of snacks.
Also sitting in the front row is a girl I have knicknamed "Alpha Dumb Bitch". Have you ever seen that gaggle of dumb bitches sitting around and squawking out nonsense, and one is clearly the boss of them all? Yeah, she and her caucasian updo are in my class. I'm sure you're thinking, "Wow Alpha John, you and Alpha Dumb Bitch could make adorable Alpha Babies together", but I'm pretty sure she'd end up like Lacie Peterson and I'd be sharing a cell with Scott when all was said and done. Anyway, ADB (and Cameron Manheim for that matter) like to ask unrelated questions to prove their intelligence.
Before I share my anecdote about Saturday's class, let me tell you about our professor. He's Hispanic, probably late 20s early 30s, I'm guessing he's a PHD student, and English is not his first language. He clearly knows the material, and while he doesn't use the best examples to illustrate the model he's discussing at that very moment, if you've done the reading ahead of time (as dictated by the syllabus) you have no problem following the lecture. He tries to keep the lecture upbeat, definately not a snoozer, so maybe not the best professor I've had but probably in the top third.
In our lecture on Saturday, we discussed the idea of price ceilings (i.e. rent control) and price floors (i.e. government declaring the minimum price for things like crops) and he's taking us through the model for each. During the discussion on price ceilings, Cameron Manheim feels she needs to reinforce his teaching with a not-so-related example even though we were just exploring the model. It wasn't as though the room was lost, but she felt she needed to help everyone understand, and I fucking hate when people do that. I have only done that once or twice in a Comp Sci class when the professor couldn't make people understand his point and was finishing for an example, but I certainly didn't take over the room because I felt he didn't explain it well enough.
One of the key discussion points for price floors is that the government sets the price (this was typically done with agribusiness) and guarantees they will buy any surplus. About five minutes later, when we were going through the model, Alpha Dumb Bitch decides to drop some science about how the Government used to pay farmers during WWII not to grow anything on their land. While she glowed that she knew some Social Studies that he didn't, I was like "bitch...that's not a price floor". He took another minute or two to wrap up the model, and then Alpha Dumb Bitch asks, "Can you give an example of anytime when the government instituted economic policy and it like actually worked?" and Cameron Manheim actually cut him off mid-answer to give her example. The front row was a flurry of stupid, and in the mean time our Professor stood at the front of the room, frozen (like a sitcom "freeze frame" where the actors all hold still) for a good 15 seconds and then just kept on going. We all looked at each other and were like "what just happened?".
The highlight of Saturday's class, however, was sitting in front of a girl (a SAG actually) who smelled like she murdered a Bath & Body Works on the way to class. When she sat down, a Pig Pen cloud of artificial fruit scents knocked me out of my chair. What was really hot though was the Layne Bryant spaghetti strap tank top she wore on her oh-so-dumpy body, and the quartet of zits bursting forth from her backfat. Utter hotness.
Saturday, July 08, 2006
An Afternoon of Squat-Mammals
As George calls them.
Visited the Fairfax County and Loudon County shelters this morning and checked out some puppies. The shelter is kind of heart breaking, I'm sure I'm not the only person who things that. I think seeing all those puppies and kitties living like that makes anyone want to buy a 100 acre farm and adopt all of them.
The most hopeful candidate for Saturday was a boy named Howdy:
Howdy is adorable, already adopted, and a total spaz. I helped a volunteer get a leash on him (in that picture, it looks like he's being held, but he's actually being held down), and when he walked by the other cages every dog in the place barked at him. Not a single Howdy fan in the room.
The surprising favorite was a little girl named Charlene. She is a doberman-mix, but she's is the perfect light shade of brown with brown eyes. She has one of the most beautiful coats I've ever seen, and she was so low key and loving. Sadly, also adopted (and the picture doesn't do her justice):
If she wasn't adopted already I probably would have taken her home. What a little sweet-face.
Visited the Fairfax County and Loudon County shelters this morning and checked out some puppies. The shelter is kind of heart breaking, I'm sure I'm not the only person who things that. I think seeing all those puppies and kitties living like that makes anyone want to buy a 100 acre farm and adopt all of them.
The most hopeful candidate for Saturday was a boy named Howdy:
Howdy is adorable, already adopted, and a total spaz. I helped a volunteer get a leash on him (in that picture, it looks like he's being held, but he's actually being held down), and when he walked by the other cages every dog in the place barked at him. Not a single Howdy fan in the room.
The surprising favorite was a little girl named Charlene. She is a doberman-mix, but she's is the perfect light shade of brown with brown eyes. She has one of the most beautiful coats I've ever seen, and she was so low key and loving. Sadly, also adopted (and the picture doesn't do her justice):
If she wasn't adopted already I probably would have taken her home. What a little sweet-face.
Thursday, July 06, 2006
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
Long Weekend, Long Hump Day
Above: two UPS trucks attempt their own kind of clandestine hump day activity
It's been a few days, and your feed burners have been quiet, so I guess I should post a little update before I get back to my workday (already in progress).
I attended a happy hour last Thursday for Lisa's last day at FELD as well as Jennifer's last days in Virginia. Lisa took a job at BAH and Jennifer and Justin are moving to their beautiful new home in NC.
I spent some time working on the house this weekend. I bought (what I think is) the rest of the molding for the living room and family room. Mike helped me put the handles on the french doors, so I guess they are officially done. We actually spent a fair amount of time together this weekend -- his wife is out of town for a few weeks, and we split time between working on his house (I hate painting) and my place. Since I've been talking about puppies for weeks, we made a few unsuccessful attempts to go look at puppies. One attempt was foiled by July 4th traffic, and two others (the Fairfax and Loudon shelters) turned out to be closed on Monday. I suspect the universe is keeping from me puppies for some reason (perhaps I am their messiah, or perhaps the entire puppy race is afraid of me?).
On Cory's recommendation, I checked out Urban Retreat in Reston this weekend. It doesn't look like much from the outside, but there may finally be furniture in my future. Now if I can just get my color samples, measurements, and favorite cousin to take a trip there with me we'll be all set. ;)
I got turned on to the Buzzlife Buzzcast from a handout I snagged leaving Starscape this year. Something from the Buzzlife archives is added every week, and so far I've been very impressed. From that, I have also started listening to DJ Jon Carpenter's podcast, which is a collection of older mixes he was involved in. The mix I'm listening to now (2Rip VS. Jon Carpenter @ Wednesday Night Mayhem) has everything from Sublime to DJ Icey in it.
School is definitely heading in the right direction, though not quite where I'd like it. There was an issue regarding admission to Mason and having to wait for my transcript from NVCC which had my degree posted to it which has been taken care of. Admissions has agreed to accept and re-eval my NVCC transcript once the degree is posted. I was hoping to get a time ticket to register for this last summer session (which started this morning), but apparently everyone in the Registrar's office is on vacation. I'm looking at a CLEP exam to get out of one class I need, if I can't get into summer session I may study for that and get it done before August.
Yesterday, freak weather swept through our area for about 10 minutes. Local trees still in shock, residents thoroughly apathetic:
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