Wednesday, March 08, 2006

What a bunch of goose shit

I could not invent this email:
Subject: Mason E-Files Alert
Date: Wed, 08 Mar 2006 14:41:16 -0500

Canadian Geese Management Program Begins

Over the past several months the Canadian geese population at George Mason's Fairfax campus has increased dramatically. The result has been a greater health risk for the university community and increasing traffic problems. As a result, Mason has secured the services of Windchazer, Inc., a Virginia-based firm that specializes in geese management and in helping organizations deal with this type of situation.

Beginning Friday, March 10, faculty, staff and students can expect to see the beginning of a process that could ultimately take a full year to rid the campus of the geese. Windchazer is bringing in a team of border collies trained to chase the birds off campus in a way that is not harmful. The dogs will be brought back to campus in the days, weeks and months to come until the geese population has been removed.

The university and Windchazer are working closely with animal rights organizations to ensure the safety of the birds and dogs in this effort.

My employer retained a Geese Consulting Firm. Great. I would do this for free.

My former employer (Feld Entertainment, Inc.), if faced with the same problem, would have nailed a horn to each Goose's head and toured "the Amazing Gaggle of Goose-a-corns!" and had Sears sponsor it.

3 comments:

mere said...

i want to hire the "amazing gaggle of goose-a-corns" and have them play at my brother's wedding. could you arrange that for me? can they do the electric slide?

thecardaddy said...

i could have had sascha fart on the geese gratis.

Anonymous said...

I should come over and take a gander.
Hehehehehe.